Legs Jokes / Recent Jokes
There is a guy. His favorite bar is called 'Sally's Legs'. The bar is closed, so he waits outside for it to open. He was waiting a long time and a cop got suspicious, came over to him, and asked, "What are you doing?" The guy replies, "I'm waiting for 'Sally's Legs' to open so I can get a drink."
What has four legs and see just as well from either end? A horse with his eyes closed!
A preacher visiting his flock in the country happens to see a pig walking around on 3 legs. The preacher stopped by and asked the farmer. My son, what's with your pig with only 3 legs?
Well preacher says the farmer, this pig is very special to my family and me, well just 2 months ago, I'm working underneath my tractor, the jack fell and the tractor was crushing me. I yelled and my pig rushed to my rescue, dug me out and pulled me away from the tractor.
Well that's very commentable says the preacher..but..
That's not all preacher, last week my house caught fire and my pig pulled my 2 young daughters to safety. It even received a hero gold ribbon, from the village mayor.
I understand says the preacher, but that still doesn't explain the missing leg!
Well like I said preacher, this pig is very special to my family and well, we just cannot bring ourselves to eat it all at once.
A lady was a huge Paul MCCartney fan and wanted a tattoo of him on the inside of her thigh. She went to the parlour and told the guy what she wanted. He says: "OK, take your skirt and underwear off and sit in the chair with your legs apart". She did that and he started on the tattoo. Pretty soon he's done, blows off the dust and admires his work." Who the heck's that?" she says." It's Paul McCartney", he replies." Doesn't look like him at all" says she. "Now get it right or I'll report you". So the tattooist starts on the other thigh. Really trying hard to do a better job. Finally he's done, blows off the dust and feels pretty good. The woman is pissed off "No way that's Paul Mccartney" she says." It bloody well is" says the man. "Listen I'll get a second opinion"He goes out of his store and grabs the first person he sees. The guy is a drunk who's been stumbling along the sidewalk. The tattooist drags the more...
The Man with no Arms and Legs
There once was a lady who was tired of living
with men who were either physically abusive, who
ran away from her, or who were horrible in bed.
So she put an Ad in the paper, that was asking
for a man who:
1)would treat her nicely
2)wouldn't run away from her,
3)would be good in bed.
Three weeks passed, and there was no reply from
any man. So she just figured that there wasn't a
man alive who could live up to these expectations,
so she just gave up. But then, one day she heard
the doorbell rang. She answered it, and there on
the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who
didn't have any arms or legs. The man said "I'm
here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can
see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I
have no legs so I can't run away from you."
The woman replied, "Yes, but are you good in
bed?"
And the man said more...
What did one of the blonde's legs say to the other one? Between you and me we could make a lot of money!