Let Jokes / Recent Jokes
Editor's Note: We get so many yo momma jokes that I decided to group them. Keep checking back, this is likely to grow
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yo mama is so fat she said she wanted a water bed so she put a big blanket around the Pacifc ocean.
yo mama is so fat she sat on a dollar and out popped four quarters, she stepped on one of those quarters and a booger popped out of George Washington's nose
yo mama is so fat that the last time she saw 90210......was on the SCALE"
yo mama is so fat when her beeper goes off everyone thinks shes backing up."
yo mamma is so fat she is on both sides of the family.
yo mamma is so fat the only way she can fit throw the door is saying I got the power
yo mamma is so fat when she got hit by a bus she said who threw that rock."
yo mamma is so fat when she had on yellow raincoat people called taxi
yo mamma is so fat when she jumped into the ocean everyone more...
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.' Why, of course,' comes the reply. The first man then asks,' Where are you from?'' I'm from Ireland,' replies the second man. The first man responds by saying,' You don't say. I'm from Ireland too. Let's have another round to Ireland.'' Of course,' replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks,' Where in Ireland are you from?'' Dublin,' comes the reply.' I can't believe it,' says the first man,' I'm from Dublin too. Let's have another drink to Dublin.'' Of course,' replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks,' What school did you go to?'' St Mary's,' replies the second man,' I graduated in 1962.'' This is unbelievable,' the first man says.' I went to St Mary's and I graduated in 1962 too.' About that time, one of the regulars comes in and sits down at the bar.' What's been going on?' he asks the barman.' Nothing much,' replies the barman.' The O'Malley twins more...
A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the Lotto."
Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it. She again prays..."God, please let me win the Lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays..."My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the Lotto just this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God more...
Three whales were swimming in the ocean,- mummy whale and two baby whales when along came a harpooning ship and harpooned mummy whale. Baby whales were quite upset and so they discussed a plan of action.
"Right" said baby whale 1, "Let's go under the harpooning ship and blow water out our spouts and tip the boat over!!!"
"Alright" said baby whale 2, so they did and all the sailors were tossed out of the boat and were left swimming around.
Baby whale 1 said to baby whale 2 "Let's eat some of these bastards", but baby whale 2 said "No! I'll do a blowjob but I'm not swallowing any seamen"
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. Why of course, comes the reply.
The first man then asks: Where are you from?
I'm from Ireland, replies the second man.
The first man responds: You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland.
Of Course, replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks:"Where in Ireland are you from?
Dublin, comes the reply.
I can't believe it, says the first man."I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin.
Of course, replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: What school did you go to?
Saint Mary's, replies the second man. I graduated in 62.
This is unbelievable! the first man says. I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in' 62, too!
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. What's been going on? he asks the bartender.
Nothing much, replies more...
One day while walking down the street a highly successful partner in a law firm was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself." Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an law firm partner make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," said the woman." Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in." "Actually, I think I've made up my mind... I prefer to stay in Heaven", replied the woman." Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the law partner in an elevator and which slowly descended to the depths of Hell. When the doors opened, much to more...
Woman's English
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Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later!
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure. . . go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be more...