Levy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Quasimodo Levy - 1
Quasimodo Levy had finally decided to retire and the Abbott placed an advert in the Church gazette for a new bell ringer. One day a man with no arms came to the church to apply for the bell ringer`s position. The Abbott, being an equal opportunity employer, said he would consider the armless man for the position if he could prove he could do the job. The armless man was led to the bell tower and when Quasimodo Levy asked him to do his stuff, the man got a running start and charged face-first into the bell. A beautiful melodious tone sang through the valley. So beautiful that all the townspeople came out of their houses crying, "who rang that bell - such a sound - hire him, hire him!"
Quasimodo Levy promptly asked him to ring the bell again. The man again took a running start but unfortunately slipped and plunged over the parapet to his death.
The townspeople were aghast and one called out, "who was that man?"
Quasimodo Levy more...

Quasimodo Levy - 2
Unfortunately, this still left the church without a bell ringer. So the Abbott re-advertised the job. Another armless man showed up to apply for the position, claiming he was the dead man`s brother and, having learned all he knew about bell ringing from his brother, declared that it was only right that he take over the bell ringer`s position and succeed where his brother could not (due to his untimely death, naturally). The Abbott gave the brother the same chance to prove his ability. The brother charged at the bell smacking it with his face and eliciting a lovely mellow tone which was heard all throughout the valley. The townspeople came running into the square calling out "who rang that bell? Such tone, such vibrato - hire him, hire him!!”
Noting that it was nearing 3pm and time to ring the bell for real, Quasimodo Levy instructed the man to do the same. The man backed up to start his run and misjudged how close he was to the edge of the bell more...

I can’t sleep
"Listen to me, Mr. Levy," said the doctor. "If you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you will have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you."
"I know, but I can`t," said Herb Levy. "My wife refuses to sleep alone."

Vive la differance
Mrs. Levy was talking to her neighbour. "Oy, my daughter-in-law is just so lazy! She sleeps until after ten o`clock every single morning! My poor son, Solomon, wakes up at the crack of dawn and has to make his own breakfast. The house she won`t clean; she made my Solomon get her a maid so she wouldn`t have to lift a finger. Then, when he comes home after a long, hard day at work, Solomon has to make dinner because she can`t be bothered even with that!"
The neighbour sighs and asks, "Nu...and how is your daughter?"
"Oh, now my daughter Rivka has an absolute gem of a husband. He insists my Rivka pamper herself by sleeping late in the morning; he hired help so she shouldn`t have to work so hard, and he even comes home from work and tells her to relax while he takes care of dinner!"

The dinner party
Freda and Moshe Levy won 8 million pounds in the National Lottery. They immediately went out to begin a life of living in luxury. They bought a luxurious mansion in Northwood, surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable and decided to hire a butler. After much searching, they found the perfect one.
One day, they instructed the butler to set up a dinner for four because they were inviting their friends, the Cohens, over for dinner and they will be going out for the day.
When they returned that evening, they found the table set for six. When they asked the butler why six places were set when they specifically instructed him to set the table for four, the butler replied: "The Cohens called and said that they were bringing the Bagels."