Lewis Jokes / Recent Jokes
Many people have noticed that Tolkien's novel "The Lord of the
Rings" bears an uncanny resemblance to the game of Dungeons and
Dragons, in that it contains elves, dwarves, orcs and so forth.
Clearly Tolkien was much influenced by D&D, and a recently
unearthed recording, probably made by MI5, shows him playing
Dungeons and Dragons on the floor of his rooms in Merton College,
Oxford, one evening, with C.S. Lewis, Charles Williams, and
various other luminaries.
Here is part of the transcript of the recording, which all will
agree is of great historical interest.
C.S. Lewis: Well, Tom, it's really good of you to come along and
act as Dungeon Master for the evening. Haven't enjoyed myself so
much since I played in G.K. Chesterton's dungeon and slew Father
Brown.
T.S. Eliot (for it is he): Thanks. Anyway, is Father Aslan going
to go and explore the Waste Land further yet, or will he have
another drink?
Lewis: That more...
December 1stTO: ALL EMPLOYEESI'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols. .. feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty Lewis - Human Resources DirectorDecember 2ndTO: ALL EMPLOYEESIn no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. Happy Holidays to you and your more...
Subject: The Office Party
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't Be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time.
Happy now?
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources more...
"Scooter Libby, who got indicted, has set up a legal defense fund to help pay his legal bills. It's pretty good, for a $1,000 donation you get a hand-written thank you note and the name of a CIA agent." --Jay Leno
"Libby was indicted on two counts of obstruction of justice, three counts of perjury, and one count of not being as smart as Karl Rove." --Jon Stewart
"What did Scooter Libby say when he bumped into President Bush at the White House?. .. Pardon me." --Jay Leno
"Outside the courthouse, Libby's lawyer said all he wants to do is clear his client's good name. I don't know, Scooter? Is that a good name?" --Jay Leno
"Vice President Dick Cheney's former assistant, Scooter Libby, pleaded not guilty to the Yeah, the weird thing is since his name is Scooter, he's being tried in juvenile court." --Conan O'Brien
"Dick Cheney's right-hand man Scooter Libby has been indicted. By more...
Martin Lewis converts and becomes a priest. He give his first Mass in front of a number of high ranking priests who came for the occasion. At the end of the new priest's sermon, a cardinal goes up to congratulate him. "Pastor Lewis," he said, "That was very well done, you were just perfect. But next time, please don't start your sermon with, "Fellow Goyim..."
After his divorce Mr. Lewis realized that poker isn`t the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with an astounding financial loss.
December 1st
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols. .. feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty Lewis - Human Resources Director
December 2nd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas more...