Librarian Jokes / Recent Jokes

The new school librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a 'Contract' for returning the books on time.
Her first customer was a third grader who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought three books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so.
The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.
Before the librarian could even start her speech, he said scornfully, "The other librarian we had knew how to write."

A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!"
The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book..."

“Excuse me, ” a young fellow said to an older librarian, “I’ve just moved here and I wonder if this town has any criminal lawyers. ”
“Well, ” replied the librarian, “I have lived here all my life and all I can tell you is we are pretty sure we do, but no one has been able to prove it yet. ”

An eight year old girl tried checking a book out of the library, entitled 'Advice for Young Mothers'.
The librarian, being a typically nosey and puritanical librarian, asked, "Why do you want to check out this particular book, dear?"
The little girl replied, "Because I collect moths."

Once I was in a public library at Ajmer. A little boy sitting nearby was making much noise. I requested the librarian to tell him to keep quite. The librarian went over to the little boy and said "My dear boy, will you please be quite! Do you know that the people near you can't even read."
The boy asked in wonder, "They can't read; then what are they doing here?"