Licence Jokes / Recent Jokes

Banta without a licence was going in the two wheeler. The traffic police caught him and asked for the licence. He told I know the IG. All police saluted him. After some time he says but the IG DOES not know me.

A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver's door.
"Is there a problem Officer?"
The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?"
The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."
"You don't have one?"
The man responds, "I lost it four times for drunk driving."
The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that."
The policeman says, "Why not?"
"I stole this car."
The officer says, "Stole it?"
The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."
At this point the officer is getting worried. "You what!?"
"She's in the trunk if you want to see."
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, more...

What Not to Name Your DogEverybody has a dog called Rover or Spot. I call my dog "Sex". When I went to city hall to buy a licence I told the clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said "I'd like one too." But then I said "This is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said "You don't understand I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said "You must have been quite a kid." When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife, me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said "You don't understand Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said "Me too." One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should more...

What Not to Name Your DogEverybody has a dog called Rover or Spot. I call my dog "Sex". When I went to city hall to buy a licence I told the clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said "I'd like one too." But then I said "This is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said "You don't understand I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said "You must have been quite a kid." When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife, me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said "You don't understand Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said "Me too." One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should more...

Marrage licence should be like a fishing licence.
It expires every year and if you go out of state you can get a 3day licence.
If you think about it, girls and fish have lot in common.
They are fun to catch and if you clean and prep them right most are good to eat.
Also if you decided to mount one you know it's going to cost you plenty.
If you bring one home, they start going bad. Fresh ones always better.
Practice catch and release.

Naresh.' Why are you going to the marriage bureau? You are already marrried.'
Ramesh:' I want to check up when my marriage licence expires.'

A redneck was getting in his truck and a trooper pulled up and asked him, if he had a hunting license for this state. The redneck showed him the license, and the trooper was satisfied. But, the trooper saw another duck, and he sniffed its butt and said "This is a Kansas duck, do you have a Kansas hunting license?". The redneck pulled out his Kansas license, and the trooper was happy. Then he saw a third duck, and sniffed its butt, and said "This is an Arkansas duck. Do you have an Arkansas hunting license?" Sure enough the redneck pulled out his Arkansas licence, and the trooper, said ok. Then he saw a fourth duck, and sniffed its buttand said "This is a Kentucky duck. Do you have a Kentucky Hunting licence?" and the redneck pulled out his Kentucky Hunting Licence.
The trooper couldn't believe the redneck had shot this many ducks from all these different states and said, "Boy, where are you from, exactly?" The redneck pulled down his pants more...