License Jokes / Recent Jokes

Banta and his fiance, Preeto, arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn't, sent them off to get one.
They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, and got the license from him. When they got back to the judge, he pointed out that they had filled the names in backwards - his where hers belonged and vice versa.
Banta and Preeto rushed back to the clerk's office, caught him again, and got another license.
This time, the judge noticed that the clerk had filled in the date in the wrong format. Again they catch the clerk... After five reissued licenses, the judge is finally satisfied.
Judge: "I hope you appreciate why I made you keep going back. If there are irregularities in the license, your marriage would not be legal, and any children you might have would be technical bastards."
Banta: "That's funny - that's more...

When a man went to get his driver's license renewed, the local motor vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of him finally got his license.

He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture."

The woman beside him peered over his shoulder, then reassured him, "It's okay. That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway."

Yo mama is so fat that her driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bush's jumped the Game Warden! ! Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden. After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him."Lets see yer fishin license, Boy! !" the Warden gasped. With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. i||3galr3pr0duct|on0fa! h! a! j0k3s"Well, son", said the Game Warden, " You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! ! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!""Yes Sir", replied the young feller," But my friend back there, well, he don't have one"...

A man and his wife were traveling in Texas. A highway patrolman pulled the man over for speeding. The cop came up to the car and asked to see the man's license. The wife who was hard of hearing said, 'what'd he say?' He said he wanted to see my license. The cop said you're from Ohio. The wife said what'd he say. The husband said I see you're from Ohio. The cop said the worst pussy he ever got was from a girl from Ohio. The wife said what'd he say. The husband said the cop thinks he knows you.

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your more...

An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Maam did you know you were speeding?" The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yelled, "He says you were speeding!" The patrolman said, "May I see your license?" The woman turned to her husband once again and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yelled, "He wants to see your license!" The woman gave the officer her license. The patrolman then said, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman Ive ever seen." The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He said he thinks he knows you!".