Licks Jokes / Recent Jokes

The scene is a dark jungle. Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, "Hey! Cut it out, all right!"
The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says, "I said stop it!"
The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, "What is it with you, anyway?"
The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"

The scene is a dark jungle. Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, "Hey! Cut it out, all right!"The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says, "I said stop it!"The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, "What is it with you, anyway?"The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"

So … the other day, my friends and I went to this “Ladies Night Club. ”
One of the girls wanted to impress us, so she pulls out a $10 bill. The “dancer” came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and put it on his butt cheek.
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it on his other butt cheek. Still attempting to impress the rest of us, my other friend pulls out a $50 bill. She calls the guy back over again, licks the $50 bill and again puts it on one of his butt cheeks. Now the attention is focused on me. What could I do to top that?
I got out my wallet, thought for a minute … and then the financial analyst in me took over. I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, grabbed the $80 bucks and went home!

A man gets on a plane with his dog.
"You can't bring a dog on this plane", says the stewardess!
"But this dog is special," says the passenger, "he's a sniffer dog."
"Prove it", says the stewardess.
The man clicks his fingers and the dog runs off down the plane. After a minute, the dog reappears, jumps on his lap, and licks his left cheek.
"What's that mean?" says the stewardess.
"It means there's drugs on board." says the man.
"What else can he do?"
The man clicks his fingers & the dog runs off again.
He reappears, & jumps up and licks his right cheek.
"What's that mean?" says the stewardess.
"It means there's a gun aboard," says the man.
"Oh dear!" says the stewardess. That's a bit more serious. "Can he do anything else?"
The man sends the dog off again. This time, he comes racing back, jumps up onto his seat, and craps all more...

Three people walked by a strip bar they walked in, the first guy licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on one side of her butt. The next guy also, licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the other side of her butt. The third guy walks in takes out a credit card swipes it through her butt and takes the 200 dollars.

You know why a dog licks his ass? Because he knows in five minutes he'll be licking your face.

So. .. the other day, my friends and I went to this "Ladies NightClub." One of the girls wanted to impress us, so she pulls out a $10 bill. The "dancer" came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and putit on his butt cheek. Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She callsthe guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it on his other buttcheek. Still attempting to impress the rest of us, my other friendpulls out a $50 bill. She calls the guy back over again, licks the$50 bill and again puts it on one of his butt cheeks. Now theattention is focused on me. What could I do to top that? I got out my wallet, thought for a minute. .. and then the financialanalyst in me took over. I got out my ATM card, swiped it down thecrack of his ass, grabbed the $80 bucks and went home!