Lieutenant Jokes / Recent Jokes

Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant and his wife were
invited to the Colonel's home for an evening of bridge. The Lieutenant was
partnered with the Colonel's wife and vice versa. After many hands, the
Lieutenant excused himself to use the toilet, but accidentally left the
door ajar. When the sound of splashing echoed through the family room,
his wife was greatly embarrassed and attempted to apologize, to which the
Colonel's wife smiled demurely, "Don't worry about it; this is the first
time all evening that I've been able to tell what he has in his hand."

The junior officers challenged the senior officers at an Air Force Base in North Caroline to see who would donate the most blood.After trying several times to locate a vein in the left arm of a young first lieutenant, the medical technician applied a Band-Aid, and then inserted a needle into the right arm, drawing blood this time, and then put a Band-Aid on that arm as well.As he left the collection facility, the lieutenant passed a colonel.
Noting the two bandages, he looked at the first lieutenant and shook his head, saying, "I knew you young guys would find some way to cheat."

Q: What do you get when you cross a mafia lieutenant and a performance artist?
A: Someone who makes you an offer you can't understand.

Lieutenant governor candidate Tom McClintock said he will no longer use a fundraising letter sent on his behalf by Mel Gibson.
A hurt and drunk Gibson then went into a tirade, blaming all the wars of the world on lieutenant governors.