Lingo Jokes / Recent Jokes

Had they spoken Computer lingo, this would be what the Sri Lankan political leaders might be saying:
Chandrika Kumaratunge: Why should I be the one who gets all the blaming whenever the computer goes down? UNP had misused it for 17 years and when given to me, it was in a real bad shape. See what I have done to improve its performance within just four years. Haven't I fixed a brand new screen filter? Haven't I given it a brand new mouse pad?
Ranil Wickremasinghe: She promised a Pentium and gave you a damn 286; She promised a 56k modem and gave only an outdated 14. 4k one; She promised 64MB RAM and now tells you to be satisfied with 8MB. So why don't you vote for me? I'll give everyone of you a brand new Pentium III with grand multimedia kits.
Anura Bandaranaike: That blue computer sucks. It has no processing power at all. The only working part it has is its' MOTHER BOARD'.
Wimal Weerawansa(JVP): As a party, JVP vehemently opposes violence. We do not even allow our more...