Lioness Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two friends were on safari, in West Africa noticed a pack of lions, roaming around an open field. They crouched behind a bush and were observing the fun.
Suddenly a lioness started sniffing around and started to come towards the bush they were hiding behind.
One of the friends quickly took off his safari boots and started to pull on his trainers.
The other said "Don`t be silly you cannot outrun a lioness.
The friend with his trainers on said "As long as I can outrun you I am OK.

Newton' s Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.
Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.
Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.
Rajnikanth Method:
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping!
Manirathnam Method (director):
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark more...