Little Johnny Jokes / Recent Jokes

The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class, "Who broke down the walls of Jericho?"Little Johnny replies, "I dunno, but it wasn't me!"The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny's lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.The principal replies, "I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth."Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story...After listening he replies: "I can't see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the wall!"

Little Johnny, on a day when he was being particularly reckless, was playing in the backyard one morning.
Soon, some honeybees started swirling around, annoying little Johnny. He began stomping on them in his temper. His father caught him trampling the honeybees, and after a brief moment of thought said, "That's it! No honey for you for one month!"
Later that afternoon, Johnny pondered upon some butterflies, and soon started catching them and crushing them under his feet. His father again caught him, and after a brief moment of thought, said, "No butter for you for one month!"
Early that evening, Johnny's mother was cooking dinner, and got jumpy when cockroaches started scurrying around the kitchen floor. She began stomping on them one by one until all the cockroaches were dead.
Johnny's mother looked up to find Johnny and his father standing there watching her.
To which Johnny said, "Are you going to tell her, daddy, or do you want me more...

A Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?""No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."

The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months." Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?"Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use?""The correct word would be urinate."
"Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence?"Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked' How much is 2x3?' I said' 6'"
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me' How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?"
"That's exactly what I said."

The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers."Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me.""Can you tell me what comes after three?""Four," answers little Johnny."What comes after six?""Seven," answers little Johnny."Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job.
What comes after ten?""A jack," answers little Johnny.