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Farmer and his Pigs:
A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc. After
several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting
pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he
should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the
slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his
ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are
pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and
will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the
conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the
pigs himself. So he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them
out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and
goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that
they are all still standing around, he concludes more...

God created the mule, and told him, "You are mule. You will work constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years."
The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20."
And it was so.
Then God created the dog, and told him, "You are dog. You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years."
The dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 years."
And it was so.
God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years."
The monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me more...

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc. . . After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs
are getting pregnant and calls a veterinarian for help.
The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will
stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to
impregnate the pigs. So he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back
and goes to bed.
The next morning, he wakes up and looks at the pigs. Seeing that they are still standing around, he concludes that the first try
didn't take, and more...

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc.... After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are
getting pregnant and calls a vet for help.
The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead, lay down & wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up & gives this some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the pigs. So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back & goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes & looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't
take, and loads them in the more...