Insemination Jokes

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant. The Man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs more...

A farmer was worried that none of his pigs were getting pregnant. He called a vet and asked what he should do if he wanted more pigs. The vet told him he should try artificial insemination. The farmer, not wanting to appear stupid, answered okay and hung up the phone.
Unclear on what the vet meant by artificial insemination, the farmer decided it must mean he had to impregnate the pigs himself, so he loaded all the pigs in his pickup, drove down to the woods, and shagged them all.
The next day he called the vet again, and asked how he would know if the pigs were pregnant. The vet told him they would be lying down rolling in the mud, but when he looked not even one was lying down. So he loaded them up in his pickup again, drove them to the woods, and shagged them all again.
To his dismay they were all standing the next morning. So, again he loads the pigs in his truck, drives them to the woods and shags them for the third time.
By the next morning the farmer is beat, so more...

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc. Several weeks later, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and calls the vet for advice.
The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. Not having the slightest idea what this means, but not wanting to appear ignorant, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet explains that rather than standing around, the pigs will lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up the phone and, after giving what the vet said some thought, he comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the pigs.
So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
When he wakes up the next morning, he looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take and loads them more...

A farmer was worried that none of his pigs were getting pregnant. He called a vet and asked what he should do if he wanted more pigs. The vet told him he should try artificial insemination. The farmer, not wanting to appear stupid, answered okay and hung up the phone. Unclear on what the vet meant by artificial insemination, the farmer decided it must mean he had to impregnate the pigs himself, so he loaded all the pigs in his pickup and drove down to the woods and shagged them all. The next day he called the vet again, and asked how would he know if the pigs were pregnant. The vet told him they would be lying down rolling in the mud, but when he looked out the window not even one was lying down. So, he loaded them up in his pickup again and drove them to the woods and shagged them all again. To his dismay they were all standing the next morning. So, again he loads the pigs in his truck drives them to the woods and shags them for the third time. By the next morning the farmer is beat, more...

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc... After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the pigs. So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He more...