"Breeding Pigs" joke
A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc. Several weeks later, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and calls the vet for advice.
The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. Not having the slightest idea what this means, but not wanting to appear ignorant, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet explains that rather than standing around, the pigs will lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up the phone and, after giving what the vet said some thought, he comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the pigs.
So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
When he wakes up the next morning, he looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take and loads them into the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
The following morning, he wakes up and finds the pigs are still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them into the truck and drives them out to the woods. He spends the entire day screwing the pigs and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he can't even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in the mud.
"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."
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