Lotto Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy comes home after losing a lot of money, playing golf.
A few minutes later his wife comes home from work with a new fur coat.
Her husband says "Hey how did you get this?" She says that her boss won the lotto and this is her share. This happens a few times, first the coat and then a car and then jewelry etc. One night the wife gets home really tired out and asks her husband to run her bath, which he then does. But only fills it up an inch.
She gets in and says to him "Why did you put in so little water?"
"Well, WE DON'T WANT YOUR LOTTO TICKET GETTING WET NOW DO WE?!"

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His businessstarted going bust and he found himself in serious financialtrouble. He was so desperate that he decided to pray forhelp."Oh Lord, please help me, Ive lost my business and if Idont get some money, Im going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto". Lotto night arrived and somebody else won the prize. Joe again looked up and prayed..."Oh Lord, please let me win the lotto! Ive lost mybusiness, my house and Im going to lose my car as well". Again, Lotto night came and went and Joe still had no luck. Once again, he prayed... "Oh, Lord, why have you forsaken me? Ive lost my business, my house and my car. My wife and children are starving. Idont often ask you for help and I have always been a goodservant to you. Please just let me win the lotto this onetime so I can get my life back in order. .. " Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavensopened and Joe was confronted by more...

A Jewish guy called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and hes in serious financial trouble. Hes so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He goes into the synagogue and begins to pray"God, please help me, Ive lost my business and if I dont get some money, Im going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto". Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Jacob goes back to the synagogue."God, please let me win the lotto, Ive lost my business, my house and Im going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and Jacob still has no luck!! Back to the synagogue."My God, why have you forsaken me?? Ive lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I dont often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why wont you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???". Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Jacob more...

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business started going bust and he found himself in serious financial trouble. He was so desperate that he decided to pray for help.
"Oh Lord, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto".
Lotto night arrived and somebody else won the prize.
Joe again looked up and prayed..."Oh Lord, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well".
Again, Lotto night came and went and Joe still had no luck.
Once again, he prayed..."Oh, Lord, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order... "
Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the more...

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business started going bust and he found himself in serious financial trouble. He was so desperate that he decided to pray for help."Oh Lord, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto".Well, lottery night arrived and somebody else won the prize. Joe again looked up and prayed... "Oh Lord, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well!"Again, lottery night came and went and Joe still had no luck. Once again, he prayed... "Oh, Lord, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order!!"Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavens opened and Joe more...

A blonde wanted to win the lotto so she prayed to god, and she lost. Next week she prayed to god again, and she lost. The week after she prayed to god, and she lost. She said to god, why wont you let me win? God replied, How about buying a ticket first?

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray...

"God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.

Joe again prays...

"God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck.

Once again, he prays...

"My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of more...