Louis Jokes

THE DARWIN AWARDS are given every year to bestow upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
Runners-up: [AP, Mammoth Lakes] A San Anselmo man died yesterday when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad, authorities said.
Matthew David Hubal, 22, was pronounced dead at Centinela Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's Department said.
Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from the lift towers, said Lieutenant Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit the towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been investigated that the tower he hit was the one with its pad more...

It seems St. Louis has Detroit's number. This time they beat Detroit for the most Dangerous city in the country according to a recent poll.
This was another sure victory that the experts expected out of Detroit.
There's always next year Detroit!!!

Bud invited his pal Lou - who came from Dallas - to go watch his home team playing a
great match. Being a avid baseball lover, Lou wanted to know the names of the players
of the home team. Unfortunately, Bud only knew their nick names only. So here goes the
conversation took place between the two friends.
Lou: I love baseball. When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys' name on the
team so when I go to see them in that St. Louis ball park I'll be able to know those
fellows?
Bud: All right. but you know, strange as it may seems, they give ball players nowadays
very peculiar names, nick names, like "Dizzy Dean." Now on the St. Louis team we
have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --
Lou: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the
St. Louis team.
Bud: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --
Lou: You more...

Louis arrived home from work one day sporting two black eyes.
"What on earth happened to you?" asked his wife.
"Well, while I was on the bus this morning going to work this fat lady got up to get off," Louis explained. "As she passed by, I noticed that her skirt was caught up in the crack of her butt. Hoping to save her some embarrassment, I reached over and pulled it out and she turned around and hit me in the eye."
"And how do you explain the other eye?" his wife inquired.
"Well, I figured I must have done something wrong," Louis said, "so as she turned to walk away, I reached over and tucked it back in!"

Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight? A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!! Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood.... good thing he didn't say two! Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS. For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA. New Tyson burger: There is a piece of the champ in every bite!!! They are making a new boxing term for Tyson.... instead of KO, it will be a Van Gogh. "Evander was Van Gogh'd in the third!!!"Can't beat um... Eat um!!!! If Tyson fights Golatta, is it more points for a low blow or an ear bite? In this corner Evander "the Real Meal" Holyfield!!!!!!! Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice. Iron BITE Tyson, the heavyweight CHOMP of the world!