Low Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a crowd of bees flying around one day. These bees were most peculiar. They were powered by gasoline, rather than the allergenic goodies that bees usually eat. As the crowd flew along, periodically a bee or two would start to sputter; it would fly down to a gas station, drink up the gas spilled in fueling a car, and then fly up and rejoin the crowd.

One bee began to sputter a little, but flew right by an open gas station. As he passed the second station, he coughing badly, but still he flew on. Finally, as he was on his last fumes, he dove down to a station and gassed up.

When he rejoined the crowd, his neighbor challenged him: "Look, you passed right by an open station when you started to get low. You passed another station when you were perilously low. And finally, you ran out of gas just in time to glide into that last station. Are you crazy?"

He replied, "Well, it's like this. The first station was a Gulf station. I really more...

Cookies and milk out; eggs, beef, chicken, cheese in

North Pole Santa Claus announced today in his annual pre-holiday
press conference that he has begun the popular Atkins diet, and is
asking for help from families around the globe. Atkins dieters are
allowed to consume large amounts of high-fat foods such as eggs,
beef, and cheese. Carbohydrates, which are found in pasta, breads,
and fruits, and sweets, are not allowed.

Mr. Claus said that he decided to start the diet after he could not
fit into the pants he wore to deliver gifts last year.

"I couldn't bring myself to buy new pants, and I haven't had a good
body image lately. I had to do something, and quick", said Claus.
"Having a belly like a bowl full of jelly is one thing, but being
a complete fat ass is another. I mean, even my jolly little toe
has fat on it." According to inside sources, Mrs. Claus may have
also played a more...

Dear Hot Ramen, I have a problem. Every morning at 6am the workers come into my neighbor's apartment, which is right next door to mine and start pounding on the walls. They just pound and pound until noon, take an hour rest and then pound some more. I work at home and I'm not getting any work done. My boss is threatening to fire me. I want to kill them, but my neighbor is hot and I've been wanting to get into his pants since I moved in. What should I do? Signed,
Neighborly Love (not related to Courtney)
Dear Neighborly, Aiyah! First thing- Get earplugs quick! Then talk to your neighbor about your little disturbance, but be sure to wear your earplugs so that your neighbor needs to shout to be heard. Keep asking him to speak louder and finally you can suggest you go into your apartment where it is not so noisy. When he comes in quickly take out the earplugs and feed him some
of Hot Ramen's speeecial Ooh-la-la Ramen Romance Soup. This soup is from an ancient soup recipe more...