Lucky Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What is the definition "lucky break?"
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.

The guy considered himself lucky to have been able to attractand bed such a luscious looking dish. He was even consideringtrying to establish a relationship instead of just a one nightstand. But he couldn't help but wonder why she wasn't alreadyin one." I can't help feeling that we've met before." he said." Yeah, I know." sighed the girl stretching. "It happens to mea lot. I think they call this' deja screw'.

If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono. If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali. If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho. If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra. If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, hey! it's the' 90's!, he'd beCat Doggy Dogg. If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John. If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster. If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting. If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver. If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy DoggPooh. How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou. If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him tomarry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G. Nog (Quark's brother more...

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,"Ribbit. 9 Iron" The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. "Ribbit. 9 Iron." He looks at the frog
and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow, that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog reply's "Ribbit. Lucky frog." The man decides
to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit. 3 Wood." The guy takes out a 3 Wood and Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog,"OK, where to next?" The frog replied, "Ribbit. Las more...

It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's daughter came up and gave her teacher a box. The teacher said, '"'ll bet these are flowers!" The girl replied, "How did you know? "Just a lucky guess," she said.
Next, a boy whose family owned a candy store came up and gave the teacher a box. She said that she knew it was candy. When the boy asked how she knew, she again said, "Just a lucky guess.'

The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down. -"Geez, are you lucky." The cyclist says. -"What do you mean by lucky? " The pedestrian angrily asks. "I got hurt really bad." -"Ah, you're lucky because I recently lost my license. I usually drive a bus."

Jim was strolling down the street in Chicago where he came across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and out popped a genie. The genie offered to grant him one wish, to which the guy replied, "I've always wanted to be lucky." The genie granted his wish.

So off the guy strolled, wondering how this would change his life, when he saw ten dollars on the sidewalk. Not a bad start, he thought. As he picked it up, he noticed a betting shop across the road. He strolled over, looked through the racing lists, and saw a horse named Lucky Lad at 100/1 in the 4th at the Meadowlands.

He put the 10 dollars on the horse to win, and as luck would have it, the horse bolted in. Feeling on a bit of a roll, he headed to the local illegal casino, went up to the roulette table and put the entire $1010 on "Lucky seven!" Round and round the wheel spun. .. and. .. Lucky Seven. Now his head was spinning. It was all too much to take in. He decided to more...