Luke Jokes / Recent Jokes
Knock Knock Whos there? Luke Luke who? Look through the keyhole and you will find out!
A furious lightsaber duel is underway. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker
towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand!
It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks
around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.
Darth Vader: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."
Luke: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"
Darth Vader: "No... I am your father!"
Luke: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."
Darth Vader: "Search your feelings... you know it to be true..."
Luke: "No!"
Darth Vader: "Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know that brass
droid of yours?"
Luke: "Threepio?"
Darth Vader: "Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old..."
Luke: "No..."
Darth Vader: "Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at more...
TOP 10 LINES FROM STAR WARS
10) "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
9) "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
8) "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
7) "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6) "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
5) "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4) "Sorry about the mess..."
3) "Look at the size of that thing!"
2) "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1) "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."
TOP 10 LINES FROM THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
10) "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
9) "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
8) "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
7) "But now we must eat. Come, more...
Betsy, a grammar-school teacher from Miami, remembers this Oscar-worthy birth tableau from one of her students.
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and experience a little public speaking. And it gives me a break and some guaranteed entertainment.
Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very out-going kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a more...