Lungs Jokes / Recent Jokes

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. "Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a journalist and I've got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologises. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

When the body was created, all parts argued about who should be Boss.
The brain said, "I should be Boss since I control the body's thoughts, responses and functions."
The hands said, "We should be Boss since we do all the work and earn all the money."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we are the ones that carry the brain around and get him to wherever he wants to go."
And so it went, on and on, with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until, finally, the asshole spoke up.
The other parts laughed at the prospect of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole got angry, went on strike and refused to work. Within a short time, the brain fevered, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the eyes crossed.
Finally, they all conceded that the asshole would be the Boss and the motion was passed. All the other parts resumed doing their work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit.
The more...

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively.
"Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the shy guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a journalist and I've got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean Rs 1000?"

Once there was a preacher's wife who went into a bakery and asked the butcher waht the daily special was. He said it was the "damn ham."
She immediatly started yelling at the top of her lungs.
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT I'M THE PREACHER'S WIFE!"
The butcher was totally taken back by this while he wimpered, "Oh, no ma'am it's called the 'damn ham.'" She bought one of the hams.
Later that day when the preacher got home he smelled the ham cooking and asked his wife what it was. She replied that it was the "damn ham." He also immediatly started yelling at the top of his lungs.
"HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT I'M THE PREACHER!"
She was also taken back by this and wimpered that it was the "damn ham."
At dinner that night they were eating dinner with their kids and they, too, asked what this delicoius meal was. Their father (the preacher) said that it was the "damn ham."
Their more...