Maam Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day, an out-of-work man knocks on the door of a home in an upper-class neighborhood. The lady of the house answers. "Pardon me Mam, Im out of work and looking for any odd jobs that people need done. Im very handy with everything from repairs to yard work, to painting..." "Painting?" the woman jumped in. "Oh, yes, Maam! Im a very careful painter," the man replied, his face brightening at the realization she could provide him some work. "Ill tell you what. My husband just bought some green paint last week to paint the porch out back with, but we havent had any time. If you can do a good job, then you can paint it before he gets home and surprise him. "Now, do a particularly good job and paint the trimmings white also, and Ill pay you an extra bonus." "Oh yes, Maam, Ill do an excellent job!" He was told the paints were also around back in the garage. nA few hours later, the man returns to the door. "That was quick, did you more...
After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me -- all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, Maam, he said, do all these children and this luggage belong to you? Yes, sir, my mother said with a sigh, theyre all mine. The customs agent began his interrogation: Maam, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession? Sir, she calmly answered, if Id had any of those items, I would have used them by now.
A blond walks in to an electronic store. And points and says, I want that TV there.
He says I am sorry mam we don't sell to blonds . she comes back with a brown wig on and says I want that tv there he says sorry maam I don't sell to blonds she walks out .Comes back with a red wig and says I want that tv there the guy says I am sorry maam we don't sell to blonds …!!! She took the wig off and threw it on the ground and says how did u know I was blond? That's not a TV it's a microwave.
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I dont understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?""Maam," the officer replies, "You werent speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.""Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle exp lains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed more...
A blond walks in to an electronic store. And points and says, I want that TV there.
He says I am sorry mam we don't sell to blonds . she comes back with a brown wig on and says I want that tv there he says sorry maam I don't sell to blonds she walks out .Comes back with a red wig and says I want that tv there the guy says I am sorry maam we don't sell to blonds …!!! She took the wig off and threw it on the ground and says how did u know I was blond? That's not a TV it's a microwave.