Machiavelli Jokes

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side.
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Richard M. Nixon: I just want to make one thing perfectly clear. The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, more...

From the Washington Post Invitational contest, which calls them Merge-Matic Books: Readers were asked to combine the works of two authors, and to provide a suitable blurb.

Second Runner-Up: Machiavelli's The Little Prince. Antoine de Saint-Exupery's classic children's tale as presented by Machiavelli. The whimsy of human nature is embodied in many delightful and intriguing characters, all of whom are executed.

First Runner-Up: Green Eggs and Hamlet Would you kill him in his bed? Thrust a dagger through his head? I would not, could not, kill the King. I could not do that evil thing. I would not wed this girl, you see. Now get her to a nunnery.

And the Winner: Fahrenheit 451 of the Vanities. An' 80s yuppie is denied books. He does not object, or even notice.

Honorable Mentions:

Where's Walden? Alas, the challenge of locating Henry David Thoreau in each richly-detailed drawing loses its appeal when it quickly becomes clear that he is more...