Madam Jokes / Recent Jokes
The brothel's madam opened the door to find a frail, elderly gentleman standing there. "May I help you?" asked the madam.
"I want Natalie," replied the old man.
"Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps someone else... "
"No, I must see Natalie," insisted the old man.
Just then Natalie appeared and advised the old man that she charges $1000 a visit. Without blinking an eye, he reached in his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two of them then went up to a room for an hour, after which the old man calmy left.
The next evening, he appeared at the brothel again, demanding to see Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts... the price was still $1000. Again, he took out the money and the two of them went up to a room. An hour later, he left.
No one could believe it when he showed up the third consecutive night. Again, he demanded to more...
A woman goes to a pet store and sees a beautiful parrot with a sign that says: "Talking parrot, $20." She asks the owner why such an exotic animal is only $20. The owner says, "Well, the parrot used to live in a house of prostitution, and I'm not sure what sort of things he might say." The lady buys the parrot thinking it is worth the risk. She takes the parrot home, sets up his cage, and the parrot looks around and says, "New house, new madam." The lady laughs, then her daughter comes home. The parrot says, "New house, new madam, new girl." The lady explains the story to her daughter and they both laugh. The woman's husband comes home, and the parrot says, "New house, new madam, new girl, hello Steve."
There was a blonde going down a highway, and was swerving left, and right, left, and right, and she continues to do this for about a mile on down the road. Finally a police man pulls her over and asks, " Madam, if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing?!?!!?"
The blonde says, " I have to keep swerving or else i will wreck and hit the tree!!" The police man says. " Madam, thats not a tree, its your air freshener.
A woman was walking down the street past a pet shop, and when she looked in the window there was a gorgeous parrot for sale with a sign that said "$50. 00". She had always wanted a parrot, but had found them to be too expensive, so she rushed in and asked the proprietor, "Why is this parrot so cheap?" "Well," he replied, "You see, that parrot was in a brothel for awhile, and learned some bad language, so nobody seems to want it." How bad could it be?, the woman thought. Finally, she decided to buy it anyway, as it was such a beautiful bird. She took it home in a cage and put it on the table. The parrot looked around and said "Awk! New House, New Madam!""Well," the woman thought, "That's not so bad." Then the woman's two daughters came home from school." Awk!", the parrot said, "New Madam, New Whores!"Well, that upset them a bit, but they tried to laugh it off, and decided that wasn't so bad more...
Jack is one horny guy and is not sure what to do about it. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a five dollar bill. He walks down the steet to the local
brothal and knocks on the door. The madam opens the door and asks Jack what she can do for him.
"I'm really horny but I only have $5. What can you do for me?" Jack asks the madam. She looks over this fellow and tells him, "Don't worry we can take care of you. No problem". She leads Jack into this room where in the opposite corner is a chicken. Jack thinks about this a second and figures it can't be that bad. He gives the madam the $5 and she closes the door behind her.
Jack undresses and has the time of his live. When he's done he can't remember when he has had such a pleasurable experience.
One week later, and horny again, Jack has saved up $10. Being a satisfied customer he goes back to the same madam and asks what she can do for him for
$10. "Well for $10 we have special show", more...
There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk pulling a wagon and dragging a flattened frog on a string behind it, when he comes up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute.
He knocked on the door, and the madam came to answer it, saw him and asked what he wanted.
He said he wanted what she was selling inside, had the money to buy it, and wasn't leaving until he got it. She thought she would have some fun with him, so she told him to come in.
Once he got in, she told him to pick one of the girls he liked; he asked her if any of the girls had any diseases, and of course the madam said no. But he said he'd heard that all the men were talking about having to go to the hospital and get shots after making love with Mabel, and THAT was the girl he wanted, and that he had the money to pay for it.
The madam told him to go upstairs and go to the first room on the right. So he headed down the hall dragging the frog behind him.
Ten minutes later he more...
A sailor had been on his ship for months. When he finally docked the only thing he could think of was getting laid. So off he goes to find a bordello. When he finally found one he stopped, before going in to see how much money he had. To his dismay he only found five dollars in his pocket. He figures what the hell and goes in anyway. When he gets to the front desk he says to the madam "Please have pity on me it's been months since I've had a woman and I only have five dollars, is there anything you can do for me?" The madam thinks for a minute and says "I'll let you have Olga, she's the only one that will satisfy your needs for five bucks.". So Olga takes the sailor to a room and they start to get busy, but for some reason the sailor could not get it in. He asks her "did you take your panties off?" Olga tells him that she did but she knows what the problem is.She sits up on the side of the bed and starts messing with her pussy for a few seconds, she lays more...