Madam Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man knocks on the door of an exclusive brothel.
Through a small window in the door, the madam says, "What can I do for you, sir?"
"I'd like to get screwed," he answered.
"This is an exclusive club. To join, you must slip a hundred dollars under the door."
The man does so, but the door doesn't open. The madam appears again.
The man says, "Hey, I'd like to get screwed."
The madam says, "What, again?"
A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep hercompany at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; itwouldn't be as much work as say a dog, and it would be funto hear it speak. She went to a pet shop and immediatelyspotted a large beautiful parrot. She went to the owner of the store and asked how much. The owner said it was $50. Delighted that such a rare lookingand beautiful bird wasn't more expensive, she agreed to buy it. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you firstthat this bird used to live in a whorehouse. Sometimes it sayspretty vulgar stuff."The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have thebird. She said she would buy it anyway. The petshop owner sold her the bird and she took it home. She hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for itto say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but more...
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50. 00, which seemed awfully cheap.
"Why so little," she asked the pet storeowner.
The owner looked at her seriously and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird`s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then found it kind of amusing.
When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them enter and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation more...
A horny young man went to a brothel... The lady at the counter asked him what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available. Madam, "On the first floor, we have the ex-models... they are all slinky and sexy... On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses... they are all buxom and beautiful... On the third floor, we have our ex-teachers.... they..."Man, "Say no more! Lead me to the third floor."Madam, "Are you sure... I'm surprised that you would prefer ex-teachers to ex-models and ex-actresses."Man, "It's obvious, ma'am, teachers always make you do a thing over and over again, until you're perfect at it."
Attending a union convention in Las Vegas a union lighting man decides to visit a bordello. He goes into the first place, the ladies are lovely, and he asks the Madam, "Is this a union establishment?"
"Why, no, it isn't," the Madam replies.
"Well," the Union Man asks, "what percentage of the take goes to the girl?"
"We split the money, 20 percent to the girl and 80 percent to the house."
Feeling that wasn't a fair split the man left and went to another establishment. Again he asked the same questions and received a similar response. Although not a union house the split rate at this one was 30 percent to the girl and 70 percent to the house.
He continued his trek for some time until, finally, he came upon a Union House. "That's wonderful," he says to the Madam, "and what's the split?"
"We give 80 percent to the girl and keep just 20 percent for the house."
The Man is more...
There is this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk pulling a wagon and dragging a flattened frog on a string behind it, when he comes up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute.
He knocks on the door and the madam comes to answer it, sees him and asks what he wants. He says he wants what she is selling inside, and has the money to buy it and isn't leaving until he gets it. She thinks she could have some fun with him, so she tells him to come in.
Once he gets in, she tells him to pick one of the girls he likes. He asks her if any of the girls have any diseases and, of course, the madam says no. He tells her he has heard all the men in town talking about having to go to the hospital and get shots after making love with Mable, and she is the girl he wants and he has the money to pay for it.
The madam tells him to go upstairs and go to the first room on the right. So he heads down the hall dragging the frog behind him. Ten minutes more...
Sardar got a Job as a cook in one home. One day sardar went in to his madams room with tea.
Madam got angry and said sardar, you should not come to my room like this, May be I am changing my dress. So you should take permission first by knocking the door before coming inside.
Sardar said, don't worry madam, I'll not enter in your room when you changing your dress, For making sure of that I am always looking thru the keyhole. and if you are changing your dress I am keep watching till you finish that, then only I comes inside........