Maiden Jokes

Bad Light: what games tend to finish in, when it is probably twice as dark as it was when the batsman went off for bad light in the middle of the afternoon session.

Bits and Pieces Player: cricketer who is only average at more things than the average player.

Bowler's Limitation: maximum number of overs a bowler is allowed to bowl, which they usually exceed by bowling no-balls.

Bowler Tossing The Ball Up: bowler celebrating a caught and bowled.

Bowling Attack: a series of bowlers who defend.

Building A Platform For The Innings: method by which batsmen bat very slowly leaving the tail to bat very quickly to ensure a decent total.

Coloured Clothing: what players wear in the hope that spectators will wear it too; also a useful way for the crowd to tell the difference between the batsmen and the bowlers.

Day/Night Match: one-day game played under contemporary over- rates.

Death: part of the innings in more...

Superman, Snow White and the Hunchback of Notre Dame were sitting around talking about their best qualities. Superman said, "I am considered to be the strongest man in the world." Snow White said, "I am considered to be the fairest maiden in the world." Hunchback said, "Well, I have the reputation of being the ugliest man in the world."
Superman suggested they go to the castle and see what Snow White's mirror had to say. Superman went in first. When he returned he said the mirror confirmed that he is still the strongest man in the world. Snow White was next and when she joined the other two she said she was, indeed, still the fairest maiden in the world. The Hunchback was next and when he came out he had a puzzled look on his face. He asked the other two, "Who is Dennis Rodman? "

A saleswoman is driving toward home in North Western Montana, when she sees a Native American Indian Maiden thumbing for a ride on the side of the road.

As the trip had been long and quiet, she stops the car and the Indian Maiden gets in. After a bit of small talk, the Indian Maiden notices a brown bag on the front seat.

"What's in the bag?", asks the Indian Maiden.

"It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband," says the saleswoman.

The Indian Maiden is silent for a moment then says, "Good trade."

For those of you that remember the old Mitch Miller song "Sweet Violets" This is a crude take off on it... (p.s. - this is similar to Gizzers 'Sweet Violets' #604 but different, funnier and possibly cruder!)
There was a young farmer who lived on a rock
He liked to count sheep while he fingered his...
Marbles and toys as in days of old yore
And for a companion he had a young...
Maiden whose passion was playing with dolls
She told him she wanted to nuzzle his...
Sweet violets
Sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
In sweet violets
The farmer was pleased with all of his luck
She claimed that she'd show him a new way to...
Bring up the children and teach them to knit
While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling...
Hay from the stables and filling the rick
He told her he'd let her grab hold of his...
Long middle finger which had a slight rash
To soothe it he jammed it right into more...

Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver's license."Will there be any change of address?" the clerk inquired."No," I replied."Oh, good," she said, clearly delighted. "You got the house."