"One Day Dictionary" joke
Bad Light: what games tend to finish in, when it is probably twice as dark as it was when the batsman went off for bad light in the middle of the afternoon session.
Bits and Pieces Player: cricketer who is only average at more things than the average player.
Bowler's Limitation: maximum number of overs a bowler is allowed to bowl, which they usually exceed by bowling no-balls.
Bowler Tossing The Ball Up: bowler celebrating a caught and bowled.
Bowling Attack: a series of bowlers who defend.
Building A Platform For The Innings: method by which batsmen bat very slowly leaving the tail to bat very quickly to ensure a decent total.
Coloured Clothing: what players wear in the hope that spectators will wear it too; also a useful way for the crowd to tell the difference between the batsmen and the bowlers.
Day/Night Match: one-day game played under contemporary over- rates.
Death: part of the innings in which the participants are the most active.
Dismissal of Batsman: bowler's attempt at a dot ball which didn't go quite to plan.
Fielding Circle: lot of dots which, if joined up, would not make a circle.
Fielding Restrictions: way of making captains put fielders where they don't want them.
Full Toss: yorker which has got above itself.
Gillette: company who decided to sponsor a one-day cricket competition to make people realise that they made razor blades. Everyone then realised that Gillette was something to do with cricket. Therefore the company decided not to sponsor a one-day cricket competition to make people realise that they made razor blades.
Leg-Break and Googly Bowler: 12th man.
Maiden Over: every bowler's aim.
Man Of The Match Adjudicator: normally a famous ex-bowler or batsman; which of these he is can often be determined by whether he gave the award to a batsman or a bowler.
Man Of The Match Award: (1) conversation piece, especially when the match is a foregone conclusion; (2) monetary award almost always given to a member of winning side. Adjudicator decides which player to give it to, and this player then shares the money equally amongst his team mates.
Move With The Times: meaningless cliche identifying speaker as a marketing man.
One-Day Shot: heave across line unlikely to make contact with ball, thereby scoring no runs and making batsman liable to be bowled; played by batsmen in the belief that this helps them to score runs quickly.
One-Day Wide: at beginning of innings same as any other wide, at end of innings any ball which goes down leg side.
Opening Batsman: most likely winner of Man of the Match Award.
Outside The Circle: on the boundary.
Reduced Target: (1) way of achieving statistical equality and practical inequality; (2) (in Australia) target rarely reduced, merely number of overs to get it in.
Running Ball Down To Third Man: way to make batting harder by using less of bat's face.
Run-Rate Required: something batsmen early in innings increase leaving their bowlers later in the innings to decrease.
Short Third Man and Short Fine Leg: positions where fielders are unlikely to stop a ball unless going straight at them - unlike regular third man and fine leg positions - thereby conceding more runs than are saved by having mid-off and mid-on on boundary in the event of batsmen hitting the quick bowlers back over their heads.
Slower Ball: delivery bowled to surprise batsman in final overs of an innings; originally the surprise was when a slower delivery was bowled, now it is when a slower delivery is not bowled.
Spinner: medium pacer with a shorter than usual run-up.
Stonewaller: a very senior player and/ or captain' s best friend.
Slip: what happens to a fielder without spikes on wet grass.
Sweeper: term borrowed from Association Football, so as to make football fans - who watch one-day cricket in the three days a year when there is no football so as to allow for footballers' pre-season training - feel welcome.
Tea Interval: moveable feast.
Thoreau: he who said' beware of all enterprises that require new clothes'.
Treble Wicket Maiden: every bowler's fantasy.
Trundler: bowler bowling at this end and/or bowler bowling at the other end.
World Cup Final: international one-day competition which many countries compete over many years to host, and which two countries compete over part of a day to win.
Wicket-keeper: batsman who keeps his pads on when fielding.
In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft.
After one year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
After the US more...
Mr Silva and Mr. Perera are very good friends. One Sunday evening they are having a
beer at Silva's place.
These gentlemen, being bachelors still, kept servants to maintain the house and also to
run errands for them.
After few rounds of drinks, their topic of more...
What to Do With All Those "Free" Soaps When Travelling This is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned. Dear Maid, Please do more...
Q. Why did the feminist cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger, for no reason what so ever.
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate,' Bring me my red shirt!'The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the more...