Target Jokes

A Microsoft software engineer went through Army basic training. One day they are out on the firing range, and the Microsoft software engineer was having a heck of a time hitting the target downrange.
Shot after shot rang out, and the reports from downrange kept coming back a miss. Finally, the Microsoft software engineer stood up, stuck his finger in the end of the barrel and pulled the trigger. This of course had the effect of blowing his digit clean off.
Grimacing through his pain, the Microsoft software engineer yelled down to the target pit 'Well, it is leaving this end just fine, the problem must be on your end!'

Bad Light: what games tend to finish in, when it is probably twice as dark as it was when the batsman went off for bad light in the middle of the afternoon session.

Bits and Pieces Player: cricketer who is only average at more things than the average player.

Bowler's Limitation: maximum number of overs a bowler is allowed to bowl, which they usually exceed by bowling no-balls.

Bowler Tossing The Ball Up: bowler celebrating a caught and bowled.

Bowling Attack: a series of bowlers who defend.

Building A Platform For The Innings: method by which batsmen bat very slowly leaving the tail to bat very quickly to ensure a decent total.

Coloured Clothing: what players wear in the hope that spectators will wear it too; also a useful way for the crowd to tell the difference between the batsmen and the bowlers.

Day/Night Match: one-day game played under contemporary over- rates.

Death: part of the innings in more...

1. The first German serviceman killed in the war was killed by the Japanese (China, 1937), the first American serviceman killed was killed by the Russians (Finland 1940), the highest ranking American killed was Lt. Gen. Lesley McNair, killed by the US Army Air Corps. So much for allies.

2. The youngest US serviceman was 12 year old Calvin Graham, USN. He was wounded and given a Dishonorable Discharge for lying about his age. (His benefits were later restored by act of Congress)

3. At the time of Pearl Harbor the top US Navy command was Called CINCUS (pronounced "sink us"), the shoulder patch of the US Army's 45th. Infantry division was the Swastika, and Hitler's private train was named "Amerika". All three were soon changed for PR purposes.

4. More US servicemen died in the Air Corps than the Marine Corps. While completing the required 30 missions your chance of being killed was 71%.

5. Generally speaking there was no more...

A communication technician drafted by the army was at a firing range. At the range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and 50 rounds. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The technician looked at his weapon, and then at the target. He looked at the weapon again, and then at the target again. He then put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"

Each fencer shall furnish his own equipment for play. Normally one sword and the proper protective gear.
Play on the strip must be approved by the owner of the target.
Unlike conventional fencing, the object is to impale the target.
For most effective play, the sword should have a firm, but not sharp, blade.The owner of the target is permitted to check the blade and protective equipment before play begins.
Target owners reserve the right to restrict blade length to avoid damage to the target.
The object of the game is to lunge, recover, lunge, recover until the target owner is satisfied that enough touches have been scored. Failure to do so may result in a black card and being banned from the strip.
It is considered bad form to begin fencing immediately upon arrival at the strip.It is important to engage in certain exercise before fencing.The experienced fencer will check out the entire strip, paying close attention to any elevations present.
Fencers are more...