Main Jokes / Recent Jokes

High school/Jr. High
10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END
First year in college
program Hello(input, output);
begin
writeln ('Hello world');
end
Senior year in college
(defun hello
(print
(cons 'HELLO (list 'WORLD))))
New professional
#include
main (argc, argv)
int argc;
char **argv; {
printf ("Hello World!
");
}
Seasoned pro
#include
const int MAXLEN = 80;
class outstring;
class outstring {
private:
int size;
char str[MAXLEN];
public:
outstring() { size=0; }
~outstring() {size=0;}
void print();
void assign(char *chrs);
};
void outstring::print() {
int i;
for (i=0; i< size; i++)
cout " . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg:
$!
";
print (FILE $msg);
close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!
";
}
} else {
print ($msg);
}
1;
Experienced more...

10. Accidental switch back to 19,000 Leagues Under the Sea. 9. Screwed up computers report EuroDisney turning a profit. 8. Air traffic control glitch causes Dumbo to smack into a DC-10. 7. The "It's a Small World After All" creatures go on a rampage. 6. The Hall of Presidents keeps chanting "Kill Clinton, kill Clinton." 5. When you wish upon a star, nothing happens. 4. Unexpected power surge brings an angry Walt Disney back to life. 3. "Main Street Electrical Parade" becomes "Main Street Two Guys With Plastic Flashlights Parade." 2. Ticket machine accidentally dispenses day passes for less than $600. 1. Two words: catapulting teacups.

10. Accidental switch back to 19,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
9. Screwed up computers report EuroDisney turning a profit.
8. Air traffic control glitch causes Dumbo to smack into a DC-10.
7. The "It's a Small World After All" creatures go on a rampage.
6. The Hall of Presidents keeps chanting "Kill Clinton, kill Clinton."
5. When you wish upon a star, nothing happens.
4. Unexpected power surge brings an angry Walt Disney back to life.
3. "Main Street Electrical Parade" becomes "Main Street Two Guys With Plastic Flashlights Parade."
2. Ticket machine accidentally dispenses day passes for less than $600.
1. Two words: catapulting teacups.

10. Accidental switch back to 19,000 Leagues Under the Sea.9. Screwed up computers report EuroDisney turning a profit.8. Air traffic control glitch causes Dumbo to smack into a DC-10.7. The "It's a Small World After All" creatures go on a rampage.6. The Hall of Presidents keeps chanting "Kill Clinton, kill Clinton."5. When you wish upon a star, nothing happens.4. Unexpected power surge brings an angry Walt Disney back to life.3. "Main Street Electrical Parade" becomes "Main Street Two Guys With Plastic Flashlights Parade."2. Ticket machine accidentally dispenses day passes for less than $600.1. Two words: catapulting teacups.

Did you know that last month's (expletive) phone bill is over $450? my wife scolded me in her harshest, my-husband-the-child voice. "That's more than twice the monthly payment you make for that (expletive)computer!" she continued as she escalated to screaming."I confess! I confess!" I sobbed. "I'm just an on-line junkie. I'm addicted to my modem! I guess I'll just have to join Modems Anonymous before I owe my soul to the phone company. "As a counselor for Modems Anonymous, I hear numerous variations of the preceding story every day. That insidious disease, modem fever, is exacting a tragically large toll from the cream of our society's computer users. Modem-mania is sweeping through the very foundations of our country and there seems to be no stopping it. This disease (yes, it is a social disease of almost epidemic proportions) is becoming a such calamity that soon there's even going to be a soap opera about on-line addiction named, "All My Modems. more...

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripesheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form And then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never Let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some Actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance Engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak more...

Joota chupai ki rasm k waqt dulhay ki aik sali ne kaha: main to 1100 loongi.

2nd sali boli mai to 2100 loongi.

Dulhaa bola: 2310 lelo, us main FM Bhi hai.