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The following is the list of some new viruses going round in India.
Better beware of them.
P. V. Narasimha Rao Virus:
First of all, this virus reduces the CPU speed to 66Hz. Before
executing any instruction, it deleberates over it a number of times
and finally does nothing.
V. P. Singh Virus:
This virus reserves a quota for each instruction, and executes them
only according to the quota. Needless to say, the least used
instructions have a higher quota than the more used instructions.
This virus is also known as social justice virus.
Sukh Ram Virus:
This virus first swallows 10% of the bits in each instruction and
then executes them.
Maneka Gandhi Virus:
This is a green virus. It executes only those programmes that were
written by vegetarians or animals.
L. K. Advani Virus:
This virus pops up every now and then, and the only way you can
continue working is by more...
You cannot sell lettuce on Sunday, but you can sell beer, wine etc. Driving while not wearing shoes is prohibited. It is illegal to tickle women. It is illegal to sell peanut brittle on Sundays. Culpeper: No one may wash a mule on the sidewalk. Lebanon: It is illegal to kick your wife out of bed. Norfolk: Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated. Norfolk: A man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman's derriere. Norfolk: Women must wear a corset after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone. Richmond: It is illegal to flip a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for a coffee. Stafford County: It is legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps so long as it is before 8:00 pm. Victoria: It is illegal to skate down the sidewalk of Main Street. Virginia Beach: It is illegal for a person to ride on the handlebars of a bike. Virginia Beach: It is illegal to use profanity on Atlantic Avenue or the boardwalk. Virginia Beach: It is also unlawful to drive by the same more...
Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for more...
A funeral procession is going up a steep hill on main street when the door of the hearst flys open and the coffin falls out then speeds down main street into a pharmacy and crashes into the counter. The lids pops open and the deceased says to the astonished pharmacist, "You got anything to stop this coffin? "
The mouse is more like a penis, not only because the mouse is
Pussy-cat's favourite, it is also for the following reasons:
1) Some have it, some don't
2) Those who have it, put far more importance to it than its size
3) They will be devastated if it is ever cut, although the removing
this does not have any serious effect on the main body
4) Younger people use it much more than older ones
5) It doesn't always respond
6) When you want to use it and if it doesen't respond you feel devastated
7) when its unresponsive it needs the right touch to get it working
8) Although the whole thing is moving, only its one end is responsive
(sensitive to the touch)
9) You can play games with it
10) it fits nicely in your right hand.
11) it points to things
12) it controls the operation of larger more important things
13) it can be rolled about
14) it prefers to perform on soft & smooth surfaces. Used against a more...
10. Accidental switch back to 19, 000 Leagues Under the Sea.
9. Screwed up computers report EuroDisney turning a profit.
8. Air traffic control glitch causes Dumbo to smack into a DC-10.
7. The "It`s a Small World After All" creatures go on a rampage.
6. The Hall of Presidents keeps chanting "Kill Clinton, kill Clinton."
5. When you wish upon a star, nothing happens.
4. Unexpected power surge brings an angry Walt Disney back to life.
3. "Main Street Electrical Parade" becomes "Main Street Two Guys With Plastic Flashlights Parade."
2. Ticket machine accidentally dispenses day passes for less than $600.
1. Two words: catapulting teacups.