Mama Jokes / Recent Jokes

Yo Mama is so poor I asked her what's for dinner and she pulled out a gun and said "Next one who moves!"

Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

Yo mama so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote!

Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.

Der next night vas Christmas
Der night it vas still
Der stockings ver hung
By der shimney to fill.
Nothing vas sturring
At all in der Haus
For fear dot St. Nicklaus
Vos nichts komm heraus.
Der shuldren vas tucked
Away in der betts
And Mama in her nacht gown
And I on ahead
Vas searching around
In her trunk for der toys
Ve krept round quiet
To not make der noise.
Now Mama was carrying
Der toys in her gown
Showing her person
Von up her vaist down.
Wenn as ve komm near
Der crib uff our boy
Our youngest, our sweetest
Our pride und our joy.
His eyes opened vider
As he peeked from his cot
And seen everything
Dot his Mutter has got.
But he didn't take notice
Der toys in her lap
But chust asked
"For who is dot lettle fur cap?"
His mudder said "Hush!"
And she laught mit delight
"I tink I give more...

Yo' mama so ugly, it takes her a half hour to walk a block - 'cause she stops at all the hydrants!

Yo Mama is so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo Mama is so dumb she took a cup to see Juice!

Yo Mama is so poor when I rang the doorbell she leaned out the window and said "DING!"