Manila Jokes / Recent Jokes

After the tragedy in New York and Washington the question arises: WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF Manila IS ATTACKED? Well. .. if that happens, there can be no comparison. That's because in Manila, we are much better prepared for these kind of attacks. We do not have tall buildings. The only large structure that can be seen from above is the Marcos monument in Ilocos and terrorists are welcome to target that. We all get on the job late in the morning specially government employees, so at 8: 45 there won't be sufficient people to kill (well, not even at 10 am!). Fire fighters and police officers will do their utmost not to get to the spot in time. They will reach there just when everything is over, so there will be no casualties among them. The national airline would surely have fouled up the terrorists plans by being delayed again or crash before even getting to the target due to mechanical troubles. A Pinoy would not have used his cell phone to call home. He would've hit the terrorist with it more...

Here is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride`s and groom`s families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception. To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him. So, taped to the bottom of everyone`s chair was a manila envelope, including the wedding party. He said that this was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open the envelopes. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. He had gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior to more...

MANILA (Reuters) - A Filipino man was killed and his friend seriously wounded after they sarcastically applauded a student for singing Frank Sinatra's classic "My Way" off-key, according to a newspaper report.
The 21-year-old student felt insulted when the victims clapped after he sang the song at a karaoke parlor in downtown Manila, the reports said Monday.
After getting into a fight with the student's friends, the victims left the parlor to avoid trouble but were ambushed outside and shot by the student who was later arrested. Newspapers have said Philippine karaoke parlors have been removing "My Way" from play lists because fights frequently broke out - for unfathomable reasons - when the song was sung.
The song seems to drive many drunken men to commit anything from slight physical injuries to homicide, reports said.
In a remarkably similar incident last November, one man was killed and another wounded when a brawl broke out in a karaoke bar in more...