Mao Jokes

Only the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) can assure economic prosperity. Only the CCP can maintain societal stability. No one wants freedom. All Chinese demand national reunification meaning that the mainland must take over Taiwan. The one child policy works. China is capitalist. The Tiananmen Massacre was necessary in order to prevent chaos. Only the CCP produces people capable of leading the country. Deng Xiaoping intended to implement democracy. 1 country 2 systems works. Mao unified China. Falun Gong wants to destroy China. The CCP opposes corruption. CCP is like the sun. The CCP cares about Chinese. The People's Liberation Army (PLA) has the ability to invade and take over Taiwan. The PLA won the 1979 war with Vietnam. 1 million dead PLA' volunteers' in Korea constituted a victory. The PLA knows how to maintain the modern Russian aircraft and ships that it purchased Zhu Rongji wants to clean up corruption. Mainland corruption is not creeping into Hong Kong. Falun Gong is a more...

After about 15 years of cold war between the Russians and the Chinese, Breznev finally decided to break the ice and offered to visit China then under Mao Tse Tung. After a red carpet reception they finally sat down to discuss business across the table (so to say). Here's how the conversation went. Breznev: Well as an offer of friendship I'll offer you some commodities you may need.
Mao: Thank you Mr. Brenev, we will accept your offer.
Breznev: What do you request then?
Mao: To begin with we would like a billion $ in hard currency.
Breznev: (after quickly consulting with his advisors) so be it
Mao: A million ton of steel
Breznev: O. k.
Mao: A million ton of potatoes.
Breznev: (a little surprised) o. k.
Mao: Two million tons of rice
Breznev: (After consulting his advisors) No, I'm quite sorry that is not possible!
Mao: (rather surprised by the emphatic No) Why not?
Breznev: (In a condescending tone) They don't grow rice in more...