Map Jokes / Recent Jokes

Here is some funny, and supposedly true stories from travel agents.

I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in Connecticut. When I explained that the inn was fictional, the customer became very irate and insisted "I know it is real, I see people check in every week!"

Also, I really did have someone ask for an aisle seat on an airplane so their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is more...

I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.

Variation on a theme

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared.

The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The Genie said "Nope, sorry three-wish genies are a story-tale myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony."

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but not THAT good! Don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please make it a bit more
reasonable."

The woman thought for a minute more...

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response. .. click.
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from more...

A party of economists was climbing in the Alps. After several hours they became hopelessly lost. One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks, consulting his compass, and finally the sun. Finally he said,' OK see that big mountain over there?'' Yes', answered the others eagerly.' Well, according to the map, we're standing on top of it.'

HERS:

1. Pulls off at wrong exit.
2. opens window
3. asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer
4. Arrives at destination presently.

HIS:

1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one.
2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right.
3. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.
4. finally rolls down window
5. hocks a loogie
6. pulls up to a 7 -11
7. gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky
8. Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway.
9. Gets back into car.
10. farts
11. after he closes the door.
12. laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11.
13. Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was.
14. almost hits a deer
15. curses the night
16. curses you
17. curses the large slurpee
18. stops by the more...

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.
The Genie said, "Nope. .. due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So. .. what'll it be?"
The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."
The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and more...