Mark Jokes / Recent Jokes

A pastor is ending up his sermon one Sunday morning when he says, "Ok, now next week I am going to preach a sermon on lying. I want you all to read Mark chapter 17."
The next Sunday the pastor begins his sermon:
"Ok I hope we all had a good weekend. Now, let me see. Who all read Mark chapter 17?"
He waited a few minuets as he watched the entire congregation raise their hands.
"Well, since Mark only has 16 chapters, let me begin my sermon on lying!"

One day John decides to invite Mark on a trip on his private jet. Whilst on this luxury aeroplane Mark asks where the toilet is. John shows him and says to him "inside there are 3 buttons, whatever you do don't press the third one." Mark proceeds to the toilet and does his business. Whilst sitting on the toilet he presses the first button. Suddenly his privates are cleaned thoroughly. He enjoys this and presses the second button. Dryers appear and dry his privates. He is intrigued to find out what button 3 does, so he pushes it. The next thing Mark sees is John staring at him... "what happened?" Mark asks shakily. "Well you pressed the third button and now you are in hospital." "Why do my privates hurt so bad?" Mark asked anxiously..John replies "Well you activated the automatic tampon remover."

One day John decides to invite Mark on a trip on his private jet. Whilst on this luxury areoplane Mark asks where the toilet is. John shows him and says to him 'inside there are 3 buttons, whatever you do dont press the third one.' Mark proceeds to the toilet and does his business. Whilst sat on the toilet he presses the first button. Suddenly his privates are Cleaned thoroughly. He enjoys this and presses the scond button. Then dryers appear and dry his privates. He is intrigued to fin out what button 3 does. The next thing mark sees is John staring at him... 'what happened?' mark asks shakily. Well you pressed the third button and now you are in hospital. ''Why do my privates hurt'' mark asked anxiously..John replies ''Well you activated the automatic tampon remover.''

Once Banta Ji Said To Santa Ji The Water Is Coming Above The Danger Mark.
Santa Ji Said," Put The Danger Mark Above The Water."

Q: What did Mark do when he missed Bus number 6?
A: He took Bus number 3 twice!!!

IF DR SEUSS WROTE AN EPISODE OF ER - -Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER's great, But.. . there are problems that can't wait! Now Benton's fine, and Carter too, But Ross and Susan just won't do! Now who do you think that we should hire, Since both of them today I'll fire? Mark: Kerry, maybe we should wait and see.. . Kerry: That's great Mark! I knew you would agree.. . Jerry: Dr. Weaver? Sorry to interrupt.. . But the paramedics just pulled up. Mark: Ok, I'm here. What have you got? Shep: This little boy has just been shot! His pulse is faint, his breath is weak. We did all we could to stop the leak. Riley: And this woman here, she has a broken hip.. . Carol: How did she fall? How did she trip? Shep: The kid's mom was getting in my hair, So I shoved her--lightly--down some stairs. Mark: Benton, Kerry! Take the mom to three! Doug and Susan! Come with me! Riley: But wait, but wait! Oh don't you see? We've got some more; one, two, and three. Kerry: You've got three more? How can this be? more...

There was a plane crash on this unknown island and there were 3 survivors, Mark, Steve and Ben all mates. They ran into the leader of a tribe on the island and the tribe leader said “normally we eat trespassers on this island but 2day is your lucky day! You have to do 2 things and if you fail them you will be eaten”. The men had no choice but to accept the offer. The leader said to them all to go out into the forest and find 10 peices of the same fruit then bring them back. About fifteen minutes later Mark came back with 10 apples. “So now what do I do”? The leader said “Now you need to stick those ten peices of fruit up ur ass without pulling a face or making any noises”! So the man does about five tjen makes a noise of pain. The leader says “rules are rules” so the tribe eat him and up to heaven he goes. Steve comes back with 10 cherries.
He askes “what now”? The tribe leader tells him to stick them all up his ass without pulling a face or making any noises more...