Mark Jokes / Recent Jokes
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the
doctor notices a red' H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your
chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud
of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she
replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a blue' Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on
your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud
of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she
replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a green' M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at
Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do
you more...
Two friends rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught 30 fish. One guy said to his friend, "Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow." The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same guy asked his friend, "Did you mark that spot?" His friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big 'X' on the bottom of the boat." The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat today!?!?"
Mark and Sharon decide they don't want to discuss sex in front of their 4
and 6 year old children, so they decide to talk in code.
One day Mark is feeling a little bit turned on and says to Katie, "Tell
your mother I would really like to type a letter."
Katie runs off to find her mom. " Mommy, mommy", shouts Katie, "Daddy would
like to type a letter."
Sharon replies slightly sheepishly, "Katie, go and tell your daddy that he
can't type a letter today as there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."
Katie tears off to her father and says, " Daddy, daddy, mommy says you
can't type a letter today as there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."
A few days later Sharon remembers that Mark was a little bit keen on a bit
of nookie and she called Katie, "Katie, tell your daddy that he can type
that letter today."
Katie went off to look for more...
Year after year Bubba's wife pleaded with him
to take her fishing but he kept telling her
she would not enjoy it. She, finally, wore him
down, he consented, and early one morning they
took off to the lake.
They had not been there very long when the fish
began biting. Almost as fast as they cast, a
fish would bite, and they reeled it in. After
catching their limit, Bubba said,
"Martha, sweet thang, I'm sorry. You've been good
luck and I'm gonna bring you with me the next time.
If you'll mark the spot where we caught all these
fish, we'll go home."
On the way home, Bubba turned to Verna Lou and said,
"Sweet thang, how did you mark the spot were all
the fish are so next time I'll know?"
"Bubba, darlin', I put a big 'X' on the side of
the boat right down closest to the water."
"Sweet thang, that's about the dumbest thing I ever
seed you do. Don't you know that won't work? more...
One Sunday morning, after attending church services in Hartford, Connecticut, Mark Twain said to Dr. Doane, the minister: "I enjoyed your services this morning, doctor. I welcomed it like an old friend. I have, you know, a book at home containing every word of it."
"You have not," said the indignant Dr. Doane.
"I have so," countered Twain.
"Then send it to me. I'd very much like to see it."
"I'll send it," promised Mark and the following day he sent the Reverend Dr. Doane an unabridged dictionary.
clipped from Roshan's Humor list, a contribution from Tandy Carter
Earthly Drug Problems
Jesus, in a very worried state, convened all of his apostles and disciples to an emergency meeting because of the high drug consumption problem all over the earth.
After giving it much thought they reached the conclusion that in order to better deal with the problem, that they should try the drugs themselves and then decide on the correct way to proceed. It was therefore decided that a commission made up of some of the members return to earth to get the different types of drugs.
The secret operation is effected and two days later the commissioned disciples begin to return to heaven. Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in the first disciple:
''Who is it?''
''It's Paul''
Jesus opens the door.
''What did you bring Paul?''
''Hashish from Morocco''
''Very well son, come in.''
''Who is it?''
It's Mark''
Jesus opens the door.
''What did you bring Mark?''
''Marijuana from Colombia''
''Very well son, come more...