Marries Jokes / Recent Jokes

SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
STYLE:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
MONEY MANAGEMENT:
A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants.
A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want.
HAPPINESS:
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
MARRIAGE EXPECTATIONS:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
MARRIAGE DECISIONS:
Men marry because they are tired.
Women marry because they are curious.
Both are disappointed.
MARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a more...

MEN and WOMEN, COMPARED:
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water more...

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn`t want.
4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn`t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won`t change, and she does.
5. There are two times when a man doesn`t understand a woman- before and after marriage.
6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

8. Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There`s no use in two people more...

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongshave a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian white baby boy!"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents."What will you name the baby"? The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says,"Well, two Wongs dont make a white, so I think wewill name him Sum Ting Wong!

What do you call a man that marries another man? A minister

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.