Mart Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A woman goes into Wal- Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the cash register . A Wal - Mart associate is standing there with dark shades on.
    She says," Excuse me, sir, can you tell me any thing about this rod and reel?"
    He says, "Ma'am, I'm blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everthing about it from the sound it makes."
    She doesn't believe him, but drops it on the counter anyway.
    He says, "The rod and reel is $20."
    She says," That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it."
    He walks behind the counter to the register. Just then, the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her; being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.
    He rings up the sale and says,"That more...

    A husband shopping center (Husband Mart) has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of six floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: ‘Floor 1 - These men have jobs.'The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.The second floor sign reads: ‘Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.'
    The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.The third floor r sign reads: ‘Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good more...

    Q: Why did Michael Jackson go to Wal Mart?
    A: Because he heard that boys pants were half off.

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