Martinis Jokes / Recent Jokes
A MAN in western attire went into a bar and asked for 30 martinis in a bucket.
"What?" questioned the bartender, "Why would you want so many martinis?"
"My horse likes them," replied the cowboy, "and he's tied to a parking meter out front dying of thirst. I want to surprise him."
So the bartender got busy and came up with a bucket of martinis.
"If you don't mind," he said, "I'd like to see this boozing horse with my own eyes."
"Be my guest," said the customer, and the two went outside and placed the bucket by the horse, who drank deeply.
"Darnedest thing I ever saw," said the bartender. "Why don't you come back in and I'll mix you a few on the house."
"No, I couldn't do that," said the man. "But thanks anyway."
"What's the matter?" asked the bartender. "Don't you like martinis?"
"Love'em," replied the cowboy, more...
Four retired guys are walking down a street in Miami Beach. Then they turn a corner and see a sign that says "Old Timer's Bar ". .." ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS! ".
They look at each other then go in. On the inside, they realize in this case, they should not judge the' book by its cover.'
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, Gentlemen?"
There seems to be a fully-stocked bar, so the men all ask for a martini. In short order, the bartender serves up 4 iced martinis - shaken not stirred - and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please." The four men stare at the bartender for a moment then look at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying,. ......"That's 40 more cents, more...
A priest was assigned a small church in the Alaskan backwoods.
After a couple of years, the bishop stopped by to see how he was doing.
"Ah, Bishop, it's really lonely here. I couldn't have made it without my Rosary and two martinis a day."
The bishop replied, "You know, a martini would taste good right now."
The priest agreed and yelled into the kitchen, "Hey, Rosary! Fix us a couple of martinis, will ya!?"
He drank with curvy Mabel, The pace was fast and furious. He slid beneath the table- Not drunk, but merely curious. Martinis, my girl, are deceiving: Take two at the very most. Take three and you're under the table. Take four and you're under the host.
She was a gorgeous girl. And he was a loving male. He praised her shape in English, French, Italian and Braille.