Material Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sindhis are known both for their sharp practices as well as for their clannishness: they drive hard bargains but also help fellow Sindhis to find employment.
A Sindhi businessman on a visit to Hong Kong wanted to have a silk suit made and went to a Sindhi tailor's shop at the airport, which advertised suits made to measure in a couple of hours.
The visiting businessman selected the material and asked how much it cost.
The tailor replied:' Sir, seeing you are a fellow Sindhi I will offer you a special price. A suit of this material costs 200 Hong Kong dollars, as you can see clearly marked on the label. I charge everyone else two hundred dollars but not a fellow Sindhi. I won't ask for 190 dollars not even 180 dollars. For you it will be 170 dollars, not a cent more.'
'Why should you lose money on me just because I happen to be a fellow Sindhi,' replied the visitor.' So what should I offer for this suit? Seventy dollars? That I would to a more...
The FBI puts an Ad in the newspaper, "Wanted FBI agents." After sorting through all the applicants they narrow it down to three. They bring the first in for an interview and the interviewing agent says to the gentleman, "We are the FBI, we solemnly do the duty of the country and always put the country before ourselves. Anything asked of us, we must do. Whether we like it or not. All our agents must be totally loyal." The guy responds that he always wanted to be an FBI agent and it has been his dream.
The agent then pulls out a gun and puts it on the table. "Please, go into the next room where your wife is and shoot her."
The gentleman gets a repulsed look upon his face. "I can't do that. She is my wife and I love her with all my heart!"
The agent than says that he just isn't FBI material, but thanks him for coming down.
They then bring in the second man. The agent goes over the speel of loyalty for the country above all else. more...
Wanted FBI agents The FBI puts an Ad in the newspaper, "Wanted FBI agents." After sorting through all the applicants they narrow it down to three. They bring the first in for an interview and the interviewing agent says to the gentleman, "We are the FBI, we solemnly do the duty of the country and always put the country before ourselves. Anything asked of us, we must do. Whether we like it or not. All our agents must be totally loyal." The guy responds that he always wanted to be an FBI agent and it has been his dream.
The agent then pulls out a gun and puts it on the table. "Please, go into the next room where your wife is and shoot her."
The gentleman gets a repulsed look upon his face. "I can't do that. She is my wife and I love her with all my heart!"
The agent than says that he just isn't FBI material, but thanks him for coming down.
They then bring in the second man. The agent goes over the speel of loyalty for the more...
In school one day the teacher decided in science class she would teach about materials. So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?"
Little Richie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche."
The teacher nodded and called on little Susie Marie.
Little Susie said "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette."
The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicone."
The teacher said, "Why Johnny?"
He responded by saying, "because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!!"
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A Unitarian Universalist walks into a fabric store and asks the clerk for nine yards of material. The clerk asks, "What are you going to make?" The UU says, "I'm making a nightgown for myself as a present for my husband."
The clerk says, "But nine yards is way too much material for a nightgown."
The UU says, "I know, but my husband would rather seek than find."
University: ______________________
To: Professor____________________
From:___________________________
I think my grade in your course, ___________________, should be changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons:
__1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.
__2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.
__3. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get into:
______Medical School ______Graduate School
______Dental School ______My Fraternity/Sorority
______The Mickey Mouse Club ______Tri County Tech
__4. I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in: _______________.
__5. I'll lose my scholarship.
__6. I'm on a varsity sports team and my tutor couldn't find a copy of your exam.
__7. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.
__8. I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every more...