Math Jokes / Recent Jokes
If parallel lines meet at infinity - infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together!
Via New York Times
According to a new study, US 4th and 8th grade students have made significant improvements in math as compared to recent years. The study then goes on to say that we're still not doing as well as the Asians. But I would like to point out that we're more fun than the Asians, so who would you rather hang out with? Oh... wait... they had the Olympics this year.... OK... except for this year.. who would you rather hang out with?
I used to be really good at math, but now that I'm not in school I suck. The other day someone asked me what 16 + 7 was, and I said "hmm, it's at least 20"
When the math professor's wife returns home from work, she finds an envelope on the living room table. She opens it and finds a letter from her husband:
My dearest wife,
We have been married for nearly thirty years, and I still love you as much as on the day I proposed. You must realize, however, that you are now 54 years old and no longer able to satisfy certain needs I still have. I very much hope that you are not hurt to learn that, while you're reading this, I'm in a hotel room with an 18-year-old freshman girl from my calculus class. I'll be home before midnight.
Your husband, who will never stop loving you.
When the professor returns from the hotel shortly before midnight, he also finds an envelope in the living room. He opens it and reads:
My beloved husband,
You may recall that you, too, are 54 years old and no longer able to satisfy certain needs I still have. I thus hope that you are not hurt to learn that, more...
Q: What did the circumference of the circle say to its diameter?
A: Hey, do you wanna share some of my pi?
Q: Why couldn't the negative pair square things away?
A: Because they had complex issues!