Math Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How many sci.math readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Pi. Two hold the ladder, one the bulb, but something irrational remains about it.

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."
The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?"
"Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.
At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

Some statisticians don't drink because they are t-test totalers. Others drink the hard stuff as evidenced by the proliferation of box-and-whiskey plots.

"That math prof's marriage is falling apart!"
"No wonder! He's into scientific computing - and she's incalculable!"

A little boy comes home from school and tells his father, "I got an F in math today."

His father replies, "What happened?"

The boy says, "Well, my teacher asked me,' What's 3 times 2', and I said' 6.'"

The father replies, "Well, that's correct."

The boy says, "I know. Then she asked me,' What's 2 times 3.'"

The father then replies, "Well, what the fuck is the difference?"

The boys says, "Well that's what I said!"

Two guys who wanted to get a job at a computer company way out west decided they'd better get a college education so they could interact with intelligent people, learn to read books, think, and be contributing citizens of the global village.
They enrolled in the local junior college, and the first guy went in to see his advisor, who said, "Randy, I want you to take history, math, and logic."
"What's logic?" asked Randy.
"Well," said the professor, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed-eater?"
"Why, yes, I do," replied Randy.
"OK," continued the professor, "logic tells me that you have a yard!"
"Amazing," gushed the young rube.
"And," continued the professor, "since you have a yard, logic tells me that you have a house."
"I do! I do!" exclaimed the boy.
"And," continued the professor, "if you have a house, you probably more...

what did one math book say to a nother? I have to many problems