Mathematician Jokes / Recent Jokes

A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time. Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake.
When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that..."

Long ago, a mathematician used to cheat people. Once he borrowed Rs. 4000/- from a rich man. After a few days, he borrowed Rs. 2000/- from the same man. Many days passed, the mathematician did not return the money to the rich man. The rich man went to the mathematician and asked to return the money.
But to his great surprise, the mathematician replied that there is no need to pay the debt. "See here, friend" said the mathematician " the sum of 4000 and 2000 is equal to zero, so I do not have any balance to pay". The rich man took the matter to the court. When the judge came to know this, he was astonished.
He asked the mathematician to prove that sum of 4000 and 2000 is zero, and not 6000. The Clever mathematician agreed. He said:
let a = 4000, b = 2000 and c = 6000
a b = c
Multiply both sides by a b
(a b) (a b ) = c (a b)
a² ab ba b² = ca cb
a² ab - ca = cb - b² - ba
a( a b -c) = -b(b a - c)
so.... a = more...

A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.

The Physicist says: "The measurement wasn't accurate."

The Biologist concludes: "They have reproduced."

The Mathematician says: "Now if another person enters the house, it'll be empty again."

A mathematician and a stock broker go to the races to bet on horses. The broker suggests a bet of $10, 000. That's too much for the mathematician's taste: First, he wants to understand the rules, have a look at the horses, etc.
"Don't worry", the broker says. "I know an empirical algorithm that allows me to find the number of the winning horse with absolute certainty."
This does not convince the mathematician.
"You are too theoretical!" the broker exclaims and puts his $10, 000 on a horse.
The horse comes in first - making the broker even richer than he already is. The mathematician is baffled.
"What is your algorithm?" he wants to know.
"It's rather easy. I have two children, three and five years old. I add up their ages and bet on that number."
"But three plus five is eight - and that horse had number nine!"
"I told you that you're too theoretical! Didn't I just experimentally more...

Q: How can you tell that a mathematician is extroverted?
A: When talking to you, he looks at your shoes instead of at his.

A mathematician gives a talk intended for a general audience. The talk is announced in the local newspaper, but he expects few people to show up because nobody who is not a mathematician will be able to make any sense of the title: Convex sets and inequalities.
To his surprise, the auditorium is crammed when his talk begins. After he has finished, someone in the audience raises his hand.
"But you said nothing about the actual topic of your talk!"
"What topic to you mean?"
"Well, the one that was announced in the paper: Convicts, sex, and inequality."

A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waiting for their flight to go. The non has terrible flight panic."Hey, don't worry, it's just every 10000th flight that crashes.""1: 10000? So much? Then it surely will be mine!""Well, there is an easy way out. Simply take the next plane. It's much more probable that you go from a crashing to a non-crashing plane than the other way round. So you are already at 1: 10000 squared."