Mathematics Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How do you make one burn?
A: Differentiate a log fire!

A math professor is talking to her little brother who just started his first year of graduate school in mathematics.
"What's your favorite thing about mathematics?" the brother wants to know.
"Knot theory."
"Yeah, me neither."

Q: How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles?
A: Warsaw!

"What is Pi?"
A mathematician: "Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter."
A computer programmer: "Pi is 3. 141592653589 in double precision."
A physicist: "Pi is 3. 14159 plus or minus 0. 000005."
An engineer: "Pi is about 22/7."
A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"

A mathematician and a stock broker go to the races to bet on horses. The broker suggests a bet of $10, 000. That's too much for the mathematician's taste: First, he wants to understand the rules, have a look at the horses, etc.
"Don't worry", the broker says. "I know an empirical algorithm that allows me to find the number of the winning horse with absolute certainty."
This does not convince the mathematician.
"You are too theoretical!" the broker exclaims and puts his $10, 000 on a horse.
The horse comes in first - making the broker even richer than he already is. The mathematician is baffled.
"What is your algorithm?" he wants to know.
"It's rather easy. I have two children, three and five years old. I add up their ages and bet on that number."
"But three plus five is eight - and that horse had number nine!"
"I told you that you're too theoretical! Didn't I just experimentally more...

Q: What is the first derivative of a cow?
A: Prime Rib!

After dinner, impressed that his son had eaten all his vegetables, the father sent his son to bed without any ice-cream...