Mcdonald Jokes / Recent Jokes

The two college football players knew that if they failed this final exam, they would be placed on academic probation and wouldn't be permitted to play in the Sugar Bowl the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank and the final question was, "Old McDonald had a _______."
Poor Bubba was really stumped. He knew he needed to get this one right to pass. Checking to make sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder.
"Pssssst, Tiny," Bubba whispered, "what the answer to the last question?"
Tiny made sure the professor hadn't noticed, then turned to Bubba and said, "Gee Bubba, you sure are dumb. Everyone knows Old McDonald had a farm."
"Right, I remember now," Bubba said. He picked up his pencil to fill in the answer and immediately stopped.
Tapping Tiny on the shoulder again, he whispered, "How do you spell farm?"
"You really are stupid, Bubba," Tiny replied. more...

10. Your "Quarter Pounder" has a long, thin tail.
9. The kid serving you has grill marks on his forehead.
8. Sign out front reads, "No shirt, no shoes, no reason you can't get a job here."
7. Their Mayor McCheese was caught in a hotel room smoking crack.
6. Blocking drive-thru is the bloated body of Wendy's founder Dave Thomas.
5. Manager takes a bite out of every burger to make sure it's okay..
4. In his photo, employee of the month is holding a mug shot number.
3. You spill vanilla shake and it burns a hole right through your pants.
2. A guy dressed as Ronald McDonald keeps asking to touch your food.
1. Their slogan: "Did somebody say 'E Coli'?"

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.And Satan created McDonald's, and McDonald's brought forth the $3.20 double-cheeseburger, and Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?", and Man said, "Super size them."And Man gained pounds.And God created the healthful yogurt, that Woman might keep her figure that Man found so fair.And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt.And Woman gained pounds.And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese, and there was ice cream for dessert.And Woman gained pounds.And God said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."And Satan brought forth chicken- fried steak so big it needed its own platter.And more...

And God populated the earth with cauliflower, spinach, broccoli and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would be able to live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "Would you like fries with that?"
And Man replied, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that Woman might keep her figure that Man found so attractive.
And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And Woman gained pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese.
And there was ice cream for dessert. And Woman gained pounds.
And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan more...

Q: Why is having a wank like eating McDonald's? A: Because it's always exactly the same and afterwards you?.swear you'll never do it again.