Mean Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Sir, did you call for me?" The man replies, "No, what do you mean?" She says, "You must be new here, let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection it implies you called for me." Smiling she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
The man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sat down he farted. Within a few minutes a huge, horrible, corpulent, hairy man lumbers out of the steam toward him. "Did you call for me?" says the hairy man. "No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer. "You must be new here," says the hairy man, more...

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

An Oxford philosopher was giving a lecture on the philosophy of language at Columbia University, and came to a curious aspect of the English language. "You will note," said the stuffy Oxford scholar, "that in the English language, two negatives can mean a positive, but never is it the case that two positives can mean a negative." To which someone in the back responded, "yeah, yeah."

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

An American and Japanese were sitting next to eachother on a plane. The American turned and asked the Japanese, "what kind of -ese are you?"
The Japanese man answered "I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean."
"What kind of -ese are you?", the American repeated. The Japanese was showing obvious confusion. Irritated, the American explained "are you Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, what?"
"Oh, I'm Japanese."
Soon after the Japanese turned to the American and asked him what kind of -key he was. The American, now annoyed, replied "what d'you mean, 'key'??"
The Japanese asked again, "are you a monkey, a donkey, or a Yankee?"

Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?

Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!