Meaning Jokes / Recent Jokes
Last Christmas we were thinking about all the things we didn't have; this Christmas we are thinking about all the things we do have.
Last Christmas we were placing wreaths on the doors of our homes; this Christmas we are placing wreaths on the graves of our heroes.
Last Christmas we were letting our sons play with toy guns; this Christmas we are teaching them that guns are not toys.
Last Christmas we were counting our money; this Christmas we are counting our blessings.
Last Christmas we were lighting candles to decorate; this Christmas we are lighting candles to commemorate.
Last Christmas we paid lip service to the real meaning of the holidays; this Christmas we are paying homage to it.
Last Christmas we were digging deep into our bank accounts to find money to fly home for the holidays; this Christmas we are digging deep into our souls to find the courage to do so.
Last Christmas we were trying not to let annoying relatives get the best of us; this more...
The teacher was trying hard to explain the meaning of inflation - galloping rate of price rise without relevance to income levels did not register on the students. So the teacher tried to explain it by giving an, example:
"The price of the ticket for entry into Pragati Maidan for the India International Trade Fair is Rs. 4 per adult as against 50-paise it was five or six years ago. This is inflation. Did you get it?"
"Yes, Sir, this is trade fair inflation. What about the vast increase in the number of visitors to the trade fair?"
The teacher bewildered for a while replied, "Call it populous inflation."
Johns Pizza & Heros on Westchester Avenue in the Bronx was busted for being a major drug distribution center where coke went out in pizza boxes. DEA agent John P. Gilbride said jokingly, "This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Coke and a Slice." Good point, although it doesn't really give a whole new meaning to the phrase "The Bronx."
One day a Sinhala teacher explained the meaning of Hydrophobia to
his class in the following way:
"Now students what you do when you see a big word in Sinhalese?
You break it up into small small words and try to get the meaning
of it.
For example let's take Hydrophobia and break it up into small
small words:
High-dorrh-four-bee-yahh....
High kiyanne uda
Dorrh kiyanne dora
Four kiyanne hathara
Bee kiyanne mee-massa
Yahh kiyanne mee masi-nahdaya
Ethakota lamaiyne Mee masso hathra denek dora uda indagena nadha
karanakota Hydrophobia....
(I hope these aren't too offensive. Perhaps they should be encrypted?)
(1) A person belonging to an ethnic group whose members are commonly
considered to have certain stereotypical mannerisms met another
person belonging to a different ethnic group with a different set
of imputed stereotypical mannerisms. The first person acted in
a manner consistent with the stereotypes associated with his ethnic
group, and proceeded to make a remark which might be considered
to establish conclusively his membership in that group, whereupon his
companion proceeded to make a remark with a double meaning, the first
meaning of which could be interpreted to indicate his agreement with
his companion, but the other meaning of which serves to corroborate his
membership in his particular ethnic group. The first person took
offense at his remark, and reacted in a stereotypical way!
(2) Q: How many people belonging to a certain ethnic group does more...
A great Soviet general was once asked by his adjutant, "Comrade General,
what is the meaning of Marxist dialectic?"
The general replied, "I will explain it to you with an example. A filthy
man is standing outside a bath house. Will he go in?"
"Of course," replied the adjutant.
"No, you're wrong," said the general. "A filthy man is filthy by his nature,
and will not go in to the bath house. Only clean men, knowing the virtues of
cleanliness, will bathe."
"I understand, comrade general."
"Now, let me give you another example. A filthy man is standing outside
a bath house. Will he go in?"
"Absolutely not," replied the adjutant immediately.
"You're wrong again," said the general. "Why should a filthy man not
enter a bath house? He is dirty, the bath house is there to enable him to
become clean, and he will use it."
"I think I more...
1) A person belonging to an ethnic group whose members are commonly considered to have certain stereotypical mannerisms met another person belonging to a different ethnic group with a different set of imputed stereotypical mannerisms. The first person acted in a manner consistent
with the stereotypes associated with his ethnic group, and proceeded to make a remark which might be considered to establish conclusively his membership in that group, whereupon his companion proceeded to make a remark with a double meaning, the first meaning of which could be
interpreted to indicate his agreement with his companion, but the other meaning of which serves to corroborate his membership in his particular ethnic group. The first person took offense at his remark, and reacted in a stereotypical way!
(2) Q: How many people belonging to a certain ethnic group does it take to perform a particular menial activity?
A: A finite positive integer. One to perform the activity, and the rest more...