Meaning Jokes

A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw so he sees another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but he can't hear, so he does sign language. He points at his eye meaning "I", points at his knee meaning "need", and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion. The man on the 1st floor knods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating. The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says," What the fuck is wrong with you dumbass? I said I need handsaw!!" The other guy says," I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm coming."

A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"
Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? "
Trainee: "Yes I do"
Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"
Comparison study: Appraisal and Resignation
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In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures.
In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.
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In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.
In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.
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During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal.
During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you more...

WORDS OF THE WISE

1. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones

2. Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. - Woody Allen

3. Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they ticked me off.

4. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

5. All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. - Jane Wagner

8. What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. - Richard Harkness, The NewYork Times, 1960

9. Women's creed: Men are like linoleum. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for 20 years. - unknown NOW member

10. more...

A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away."
"What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!"
With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to work, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly with his nose. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head and said, "Bark" (meaning "dead as a doornail").
The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, who also carefully sniffed out the poor dog on the table. As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, more...

What is the meaning of afford? Its the car most sales representatives drive.