Media Jokes / Recent Jokes
a well-built man with good
reputations and makes good pig
abbs and can give great se-
condes to talk with me and watch the movie xx-
x without getting to carried away
Feel free to apply, but please only read lines 1, 3, and 5.
Q. When does Michael Jackson go to bed?
A. When the big hands touch the little hands.
What the world is like in TV land:
1. If a woman is running away from someone she will trip and fall.
2. Your car will always start immediately unless you are being chased by a maniacal killer or a monster of genetic creation.
3. Crazed maniacs have super-human strength.
4. The suburbs are exciting.
5. Good guys always shoot better than bad guys.
6. Good guys are always outnumbered.
7. Good guys always win and get the girl.
8. Good guys are always good looking.
9. Ugly people are always bad guys.
10. Teenagers who have sex are destined to die in grotesque ways.
11. There are no ugly women, only ugly men.
12. Court cases are all solved with a surprise witness.
13. Good guys are the only ones who have a sense of humor.
14. Cars will explode in all accidents.
15. Everyone has a dark secret.
16. Cream pies are made to be thrown, never eaten.
17. Haunted houses are never locked.
18. The police are smart.
19. Good more...
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are roaming in the forest when they come across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a bath. So she tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake.
The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take a bath too.
Snow White relents and says "When I get into the water and you hear the splash, you can turn around."
Snow White undresses and as she is about to jump into water, at that very moment, she is startled by a frog who jumps into water before she can.
The moment the Dwarfs hear the SPLASH, they turn around and see Snow White standing NAKED.
Now, given that this incident is an idea for a TV ad, what product is being advertised?
Scroll down for the answer.
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Come on now, this should be easy for a person of your mental more...
G: Nobody gets the girl.
PG: The Good Guy Gets The Girl.
R: The Bad Guy Gets The Girl.
X: Everybody Gets The Girl.
XXX: Everybody gets the girl, her mother, and their cock-er spaniel.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS
I was so poor growing up...If I wasn't born a boy..I'd have nothing to play with.
A girl phoned me the other day and said...."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
During sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
One day as I came home early from work... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early."
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off.
I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I was such an ugly baby...My mother more...