Mercedes Jokes / Recent Jokes

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.

A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking.
He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. He drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole. The rabbit yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my dick and pull yourself up." And the rabbit did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes!

A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole. The rabbit yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my dick and pull yourself up." The rabbit did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes.

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
"I had a big house built for our mother," the first son said.
"I sent her a Mercedes and a driver," said the second.
"I've got you both beat," said the third, with a grin. "Do you remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? Well, she can't see very well so I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire bible. It took the church elders many years to teach him. Mom only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, mom sent out a letter of thanks to each son:
"Jason, the house you had built for me is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Matthew, I am too old to travel. Most of the time I remain at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And, the driver is terribly more...

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the Clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a homebuilder and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free."

The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes, fully loaded."

The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio."

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business.

The first man mentioned, "We are just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"

The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay bar.

I'm not totally more...

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the more...

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks:
"Dear Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!"
"Dear Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the more...